It seems as my words find their way back to time. I can't help but think it has something to do with what my life has been filled with recently, time. By no means am I suggesting that time is moving slowly, or that I am getting bored. Actually, I reckon that time has not changed at all, since the clock ticks as if it were water cascading down a hillside, steadily. Like the calendar that measures our age, the landscape is defined by the impact of the water. If the water shapes the hillside, similarly, then one can contemplate how time molds our lives. Yet who is in control of the molding? Strange to consider that time and schedule are what many people's molds become (albeit some more than others); dominated by the clock instead of managing time, on the other hand, we all need to follow a calendar or schedule at times. Learning what to do with the time we have been given becomes paramount for managing time. This recent process I have gone through has helped expose the relatively obvious nature of time, especially since clocks keep the measure fairly accurate.
With this in mind, I somehow allowed the blog to slip through the imaginary cracks of time. Its always so much harder to begin an update once so much time has passed, as I never know where to start. It is a bit like jumping in a mountain lake, when hesitation attempts to outdo freedom.
And the update: I am doing extremely well. Movement is something that is no longer a foreign concept, rather, its like an old friend who sits down for tea and conversation. I have begun to perform gentle yoga poses as a result of my old buddy coming back, in addition to going out for dinner, as well as, traveling to hot springs, and even working a grill shift at the Restaurant. The latter was out of necessity, see below (rule #1 compliance) for photo:
It felt amazing to be back in the kitchen again. I realized how much I enjoy cooking and just being on line again. Despite the incredible challenge of maneuvering, it was a refreshing experience to be where I am most comfortable- inside the realm of passion. It was also good therapy to be moving in so many directions; even though, at times, it felt like a roller coaster ride inside a boxing ring.
Speaking of comfort, memory foam mattress pads are the way to go. Its like sleeping on a dream, a really good dream full of happy endings (that came out all wrong, no double pun intended :]). I spend most of the time in my wheelchair, but when I'm not on wheels I'm all over the memory foam pad. I'll never go back to a regular mattress again.
Yesterday while soaking in hot springs a rainbow arched over the horizon. Being immersed in water for the first time in months was beyond description. I practically melted into the hot water as my body became what felt like a pile of minerals. Moving around in the water was equally joyful as my body danced with the delight of motion, submerged in the healing springs, returning to a movement that is now a new beginning.
The car ride to and from the hot springs was a test of endurance. Its about an hour and a half each way from my house to the springs, and my ass felt every minute of it. Somehow I've lost any sort of body weight in between my bones and whatever I sit on, so I'm learning more how to address the discomfort. I sit on a very expensive pad throughout the day while I am in the wheelchair, so my ass is supported in a pleasurable way, so to speak; however, once this skeleton rests on a car seat, the game begins. I am planning on driving to Seattle this weekend for a workshop with Paul Muller-Ortega, and its a little over 9 hours each way. I have some friends joining me for the trip, so I'll be in good hands.
It looks like I will be in the wheelchair for another few weeks before I get the go ahead to start crutches or other various forms of mobility. I have been getting out fairly regularly now, I've been to out to eat several times as well as joining friends for dinner at their houses. I've also had a decent amount of company here at the house, all combining to ensure I am feeling stimulated and alive. It also reminds me of how I am not alone on this journey, that all of us are experiencing similar emotions, feelings, trials, tribulations, and challenges. I take great comfort in knowing that we are able to assist each other just by showing some warmth and gratitude through our friend and kinship for one another. So much incredible energy has been shared with me throughout all of my interactions with others, I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the outpouring of love and support. Once again it has kept me in the skies of contentment, flying high above the depths of despair.
Old habits came knocking on the door recently, I noticed their arrival shortly after I went to the doctors appointment on Mar 17. These habits are like friends you don't necessarily associate with anymore, yet they want to hang out because they are like that, and its hard to kick them out even though they are barnacles hanging onto the bottom of the boat. I ditched them like a high school geometry class. It was easy to see how they arrived though. I go to the doc expecting amazing news about how quickly I have been healing, how I'm ready to start walking any moment now, and how he can't believe how great my recovery has been. What I got was a business as usual, come back in three weeks, keep doing what your doing spill. This brought me back to reality fairly quickly and reminded me that I've got a long way to go.
And so it goes on and on. The fabric of time is threaded with water. Please don't forget to stay hydrated out there. Now that this time business is handled, I'll write again before I leave for Seattle.
In love and light
andy
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