The recent spell of brutally cold weather here in the Flathead Valley has altered quite a few courses. Thankfully I am inside where it is warm and I am protected from the wind. I've watched the wind blow with fierceness the past few days from a perched view in the hospital bed. The look on many of the faces that come to visit me also tell the story of the bitter cold. Temperatures were hovering in the really cold digits with a wind chill that was also really, really cold. The actual numbers range considerably depending on who you spoke with, but lets just say wind chill factor in town was exceptionally frigid. Apparently today was very cold too, although the wind was not as strong as the day before.
Tonight I witnessed a gorgeous display of alpenglow with the entire Columbia range, in full view, wrapped in a spectrum of colors. The last few days have been full of visitors and lots of wonderful activities. My condition is certainly getting better with each passing day. I am now able to sit up on my bed with relative ease, transfer to a walker, then to a wheelchair and I can move freely about from there. There is a new found ease of execution at which I can perform these movements. I am also able to sit up for much longer periods of time than previously. All of the above has helped me tremendously, especially with all of the soreness and aching that has infiltrated my tailbone, lower back, and sitting bone areas, as it helps to get the blood flowing to different parts of the body. The game for me now is to try and keep moving and shifting as much as possible. It looks as though this will be the goal for the next few months.
The update on when I am going home is early-to-middle of next week. There are some minor adjustments that need to take place and I may be looking or volunteers to assist with some of these activities, which include: shoveling snow, installing shower bars, replacing shower head with a hand-held sprayer, and a few other minor projects. If any of you are interested in performing any of the above this weekend, please give me a shout via email, telephone, facebook, etc..
Also to note is a calendar I will be creating for my time at home. Many of you have been gracious enough to offer your help with whatever I need. Well, I will be needing a lot of assistance as I move towards the home healing process. The most important thing I will need is company, so I am creating a calendar that will allow you to sign up for various times of the day. You will then be able to spend time with me and help with keeping me happy! I will link this calendar to facebook and to my blog as soon as I get it created. Thank you in advance for your help and assistance! I certainly would not be feeling as good as I am if not for all of the wonderful love, energy, and support I have received from all of you :)
I can't elaborate enough on how good it feels to be back in Whitefish and North Valley Hospital. From the comfortable surroundings, to the warm and friendly staff, the good variety of enjoyable food options, the extra care from the nurses, and the overall dedication to a philosophy that exudes from just about everyone I come into contact with. Not only is everyone genuinely concerned about my health, but also more than happy to contribute whatever they can to assist with the healing process. Its like having the wind at my back while riding a bike, encouraging me to keep going with relative ease while providing assistance with the process.
Time has a way of continuing on at a speed that is consistent and is absolutely fascinating to analyze. I understand how the clock doesn't change pace, yet I am baffled by the clock's ability to remain constant despite the fluctuations that life interjects. I like to watch the clock, hanging in the corner of my room, and actually time how long I spend doing certain activities. Its like I have a microscope to really discover what I am doing with my time. That said, I'm not sure I am in a position to elaborate what I have been doing with my time! Its a strange phenomenon, really, documenting what one's day consists of and the time it takes to perform certain activities.
I can tell you that I have been playing several games of Scrabble, enjoying some good clean fun with friends. There will be plenty more time available for some Scrabble, should any of you choose to get in on the action! Another activity my day has been filled with is physical therapy. I have been completing various exercises to keep my body moving and my muscles working, specifically those that have not been effected as much from the accident. Its great to be peddling on a make shift bicycle, wheeling around the hallways in my wheelchair and terrorizing other patients, doing chair pushups, various stretches, leg exercises, and rowing motions. All of these activities certainly break any stagnation that my body feels. (I'm kidding about the terrorizing of other patients :)
I spoke earlier about the good food variety available here at the hospital. On Wednesday I enjoyed sushi! Yep, that's right, a couple of ahi tuna rolls, and some salmon rolls. Talk about feeling normal again! I have also enjoyed an asian stir fry, steak salads, lovely skillet breakfasts, and other exciting dishes, exceptional selections for being in a hospital. Tonight my good friend's Peter and Kelly dropped by to offer some homemade raviolis and a delicious salad. It was absolutely divine. I have also been blessed with other wonderful homemade delights, like Randy Beach's tasty apple crisp and tamales, Elaine's vegan dessert dream, and a tasty brown rice stir fry from Jessica. Many times people ask what they can bring prior to a visit. I welcome any and all home cooked meals. Free consultation provided by request only.
I also feel like quite the high profile guest here in the hospital. Many of the administrative staff and the upper echelon crew have come to offer their best wishes. The other day the CEO, Jason Spring, came in to check on me and ensure I was being taken care of. He also thanked me for all of the kind words spoken on this blog about North Valley. As well, he even mentioned they were considering changing a few systems based on some of the feedback I had given to one of the nurses regarding pain management. All in all I feel like a very special guest and could not be happier given my current condition.
Even though yesterday (Thursday) was a great day, it came with a hefty price of situations. To begin with, we had a wine dinner at the Restaurant to execute. So without me or my sous chef there to participate, the back of the house had a significant challenge in front of them. Preparing a seven course menu to be paired with wine is difficult enough. Add to it the pipes freezing from the insanely cold weather, no water now available, and the situation was not looking good. The fact that many of my staff members, particularly in the kitchen, have been working a lot more than usual, some of them on 10 or 12 day stretches, contributed even more to the stress. When I heard about the pipes bursting in the mechanical room, horrific memories from the year before flooded my mind. Thankfully the water was shut off immediately this time to negate any more damage being done. None-the-less, we opted to cancel the wine dinner since we would be operating without water. I think if I were there we would have made the event still happen and dealt with the difficulties, but given the circumstances and the knowledge of what my kitchen staff has already been through, we opted to shut it down and give everything and everybody a little break. Tonight and this weekend will be very, very busy once again and we saw the importance of bringing everyone back a bit more refreshed. With all that said, I am so proud of the job my staff is performing right now. They have kept the operation maintained at the level we normally operate at while enduring the difficulties that continue to arise. Something that is not easy to do and they deserve heaps of praise for staying the course. This also marks one of my greatest achievements as a chef/owner. Being able to consistently produce a quality dining experience at a high level is challenging enough when I am there, yet that is also to be expected. The real truth lies in the ability of the Restaurant to continually execute, specifically if the chef is not present. It not only signifies a fantastic staff, it reveals the true experience of how good the chef really is.
My sous chef's, condition is finally known and a herniated disc is the culprit for all of the pain and discomfort he has been experiencing. The bad news is this may require surgery, meaning that he will remain unavailable for the rest of the season. My heart goes out to him as it is a very difficult time for him. Life has a interesting way of dealing us hands we did not expect or ask for. I'm thankful I can still recognize the hand that is dealt to me, and how to play accordingly. I could never imagine the situation I am presently in, nor could I imagine it for my sous chef. I can imagine, however, enjoying the game my soul is playing, while I work with my mind and body to develop a harmony that is conducive to staying in touch with spirit. I can imagine this same dance is taking place for all of you on some deep level, whether you are aware or not, and those hands you are dealt become the catalyst for deciding on how to play them. As in the words of the GD, "Sometimes, the cards aren't worth a dime, if you don't lay em down".
To keep with the exciting gross details of being in a hospital, especially while in the ICU, I would like to elaborate on the sensation of using a catheter. To begin, this was probably one of the most feared ideas my mind has ever encountered. I'm sure you are cringing right now if you are a guy. If you don't know what a catheter is, google it, and be prepared to wince in pain. In all actuality, however, the catheter is nothing to be afraid of. Aside from an initial sting and temporary burn, there is relatively no pain or significant discomfort from having a catheter inserted into your body. The other cool part of it is that you don't make an effort to pee, the catheter literally removes the urine right from your bladder. In fact, I'll take a catheter any day of the week over a bandage removal in a tender spot. I have been without a catheter for about a week now, and I most certainly prefer not having one in. At any rate I thought I would clear the air about a understandably fearful medical necessity.
In reference to the thread title, there are new beginnings happening all around me. Partially because my new room is located right next to the overflow for OB section. So there are new babies, some of them introduced to this vast world merely hours before I hear their tender and innocent cries. I wonder what is going through their newborn minds. 'Confusion? What happened to that wonderful warm place?' I am enamored with the idea that new life is happening right next door to me. I feel empowered with a sense of how much of an opportunity I have to begin anew, just like those precious babies. I remember the concept of beginners mind and I am ready to slowly learn how to live fully once again. My life and my purpose has always revolved around fulfillment, so there is no drastic change necessary. What I imagine and intend is a stronger sense of balance between health, love, and community.
Lastly I will leave you with a poem I wrote to a friend on the same night that I had surgery. This was probably the height of my drug induced consciousness. It's interesting for me to read the blog knowing the various amounts of substances that were present throughout my recovery. This poem gives a good look at the state of my "buzz" that evening.
In light and love,
andy
I'm just hanging out resting,
healing is a blessing,
pain is protesting,
ideas of investing,
medications are cresting,
relief is testing,
boundaries of festing,
spirit is professing,
levels of questing,
like a game of guessing,
this injury is ingesting
reflections of my life.
As positivity is molesting,
the path to nesting,
the road ahead is suggesting,
change will bring goodness,
lest I remain the same.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Time for healing
Hello everyone!
I am happy to report I am back in the welcoming arms of North Valley Hospital, here in Whitefish Montana. For those of you who are close and would like to visit, then come and see me sometime in room #120. I am pretty much just lying around for most of the day. Occasionally I'll have to do some work related stuff, but I generally have large portions of the day where I am able to complete whatever is necessary. I also have a Scrabble board on hand; so if time allows, we can even battle.
There is a large sense of relief with me, particularly with regards to being back in North Valley Hospital. I finally feel like I can actually begin healing. My body, of course, has been busy healing for some time now, yet my mind also suffered a decent amount of trauma. Most of this mental trauma likely occurred during the multiple methods of transport I endured between Whitefish and Spokane. The story of the plane ride from WF to Spokane has been revealed on a previous blog post. What I am about to tell you is the details from the four and one-half hour ambulance ride from Spokane to Whitefish.
My trip began with the thoughtful and considerate notification that I would be leaving in less than 15 minutes for Whitefish. I hadn't even gotten full confirmation that it was going to happen that day. The last I heard is that I had been cleared to be transported back and someone would be in touch to coordinate my departure. Next thing I know a nurse is walking into the room and packing my stuff. I had a few bags of things, mostly foods and teas, computer, books, etc., so it took all the 15 minutes to get everything packed and accounted for. It was 1:45pm on Saturday afternoon and I had yet to eat anything substantial up to that point. I was in no condition to travel at that moment, as I wanted to eat food, hydrate, and execute a few other necessary functions. The ambulance drivers were ready to hit the road immediately upon arrival. And just like that, I was placed into their padded ambulance bed and wheeled downstairs and outside.
I was very happy to leave Sacred Heart. I knew that once I made it back to Whitefish, I would be in better spirits and much happier overall. When we exited the hospital it was the first time I had been outside since my brief transfer on the way over. I noticed how the air felt crisp and cool, as if the air tasted like a freshly picked, early morning cucumber. I reveled in the way my skin felt familiar and at home with the cool air caressing my pores. The color in the sky allowed my eyes to daze in wonder at the brilliant blue that painted the view. This moment was brief, yet unforgettable. I was cast quickly back to reality and the increasing disparity of the situation, when I began to inquire about my access to pain medication and the plan to deal with it while traveling. My main concern was my level of comfort throughout the journey. I had been assured, prior to leaving, by the hospital staff that I would be taken care of and would likely be bringing oral medication (i.e. Norcos) to help alleviate the pain and that IV medicine would be on board to assist with immediate comfort, if needed. The ambulance crew explained they had fentanyl (similar to morphine), but they did not have very much of it and that it wouldn't really last that long. They then proceeded to tell me that most people are pretty weak in general, so that if I could stay strong and only ask for the medicine if I really needed it, that it would help us get there quicker and the whole situation in general. You can imagine my confusion at this point. I explained my situation with the hospital and asked if we could go back in and grab a Norco for the ride, because it had been a few hours since the one before. The crew mentioned that I was already discharged, so that might be more trouble than its worth.
I was a little surprised at this, albeit slightly ticked off, yet I wanted to get going. So I chose not to push the issue any further. Come to find out only one of the EMT's could actually administer the medicine, because of the different levels of being an EMT or whatever that means. That may have been the reason they wanted to limit the pain medication, because the only guy who could give it wanted to drive. I was also eager to hit the road, so they got me strapped in and we were about to leave when some people arrived at the back door of the ambulance. It was two of my former culinary arts students, Melanie Chapel and Sean Mazur!! They had been living in Spokane and heard about the accident and wanted to visit. It was great to see them and start my journey that way :) I was really happy to chat with them, if only for a few minutes, and see how well they were doing. They brought me a croissant and a salted caramel margeline from the place where Melanie works, "Madelines". How nice it was to eat such wonderful treats! I saved them for my return, when I had time to savor each bite. I said goodbye to Melanie and Sean as the door closed and the ambulance drove away.
I knew right away it was going to be a long haul. The two main reasons, each standing out like normally dressed people at a costume party, were: the ambulance was already bumping (we were still in Spokane), and the EMT riding in the back with me was cuckoo. I still remained optimistic about the journey at this point, even though said EMT was annoying me with his pestering questions and pointless stories. The sunlight was beautiful and I loved the idea of moving after being laid up in a room for so long. But that damn nuisance was right there, grabbing my arm and placing in on his leg while checking my blood pressure. WTF is up with that? I kept trying to keep my arm at my side, like I normally do when nurses are checking blood pressure, but this guy would grab my arm. I thought he was hitting on me. I think I might have confirmed he was hitting on me when we stopped, at Lookout pass, so I could pee in the "don't drink that" water bottle. When the EMT just sat there, next to me, I made sure I covered up good and just did what I could to release 600 cc (20oz) from my bladder and handed it to him.
I was in fairly significant pain at this point and asked for the pain medication. My IV receptacle that I had in my arm was no longer able to receive fluids, which we soon discovered, so instead of replacing that IV base, they decided to just shoot the fentanyl in my shoulder. So now I am getting a shot of pain medication and my shoulder begins to convulse, the muscles freak out at this new substance and immediately dance, the EMT administering the shot began massage the muscles until they relaxed. Thankfully it wasn't the cuckoo EMT, although I am sure he was a little jealous at that point. Most of my pain was coming from my sit bones, my ass, and my lower back. The ambulance bed was not extremely comfortable, it reminded me more of an amusement park seat than a patient care type vessel. If the ambulance was a theme park ride, then the thrill was to endure the experience. I discovered a great way to endure this challenge, I fell asleep.
Gone was the EMT while I was asleep. I was free to dream and relax until being jolted awake and reminded that I am in a uncomfortable ambulance ride with a nutcase next to me. The guy had good intentions, he just wanted them to be known a little too much- by any means necessary. I remember when I had just about fallen asleep and he was busy talking. Then he says "Are you sleeping? Oh wait, I think you might be sleeping. Well, I'll just ask you later then."
By the time we made it back to North Valley, I was once again totally scarred from a traumatic transportation trip. As soon as we walked in I was greeted with familiar faces, smiles, and warm regards. It was good to be back! I laughed when North Valley said "We were expecting you tomorrow!" 'Of course, you were, of course, I mean, its not like the hospital was going to call you and inform you I left today, why would they do that?' Typical, typical of my experience in Spokane. Thankfully North Valley has their stuff together and was quickly able to accommodate the ball dropping by Sacred Heart. When I saw the walls, the trim, the carpet, the hardwood floors, the paintings, and the content staff all around me, I smiled and realized I can begin healing now.
My first night back was great, I was so tired from the journey I didn't spend too much time awake. I did enjoy seeing Carmen (one of the nurses) again and was so excited to know I was in good hands. Saturday night and Sunday night have been my two best nights of rest since the accident! I can actually sleep for more than 3 hours at a time now :) I am confident I will get plenty of rest tonight too. Yesterday (Sunday) was a wonderful day, beginning with a colorful sunrise over the Columbia Mtn Range and a morning visit from my friend Stephenie. Later that day my family also came by and visited for a while. We all agreed how much we appreciate being at North Valley.
My movement is tremendous now. I can sit up in bed by myself, boost up to standing in a walker, pivot on my left leg and transfer to a wheelchair (yippee!), and then from there can actually find really cool places- like the bathroom for instance. Its a pretty big deal, getting up and moving around, and its something I am doing a couple times a day for some movement. But to have a good range of movement with a decent amount of upper body strength has helped my progress immensely. The biggest issue I have right now is intense pain in my sit bones, my ass, my lower back, and my hips. I keep trying to pinpoint the problem and why that its happening, saying things such as: 'oh it must be from the ambulance ride, i am just sore from laying in bed, maybe its the way I slept last night, or all that time I spent in the wheelchair'. What is really hilarious is what others will say when they here this, "or its because you just fractured both pelvis and several vertebrae". Oh yeah, I guess it could come from that also :)
The news came by today to film a small segment on my recovery process. It was the local NBC affiliate and the piece aired on the 5pm news. I actually wanted the interview to happen tomorrow, as I was hoping to "bulk" up a little more. Two of my favorite nurses both mentioned, as soon as I got back to North Valley, "wow you have lost some weight! What did they do to you in Spokane?" I actually have been eating a lot since being back in Whitefish, it makes me feel like myself again. Anyway here is a link to the story that aired tonight:
http://www.nbcmontana.com/news/26945839/detail.html
Here is the video:
http://www.nbcmontana.com/video/26945728/index.html
Today was a great day. Full of visits with friends and families, a couple games of Scrabble, some tasty dinner, all in all a way to celebrate President's day in style (does anyone actually celebrate this holiday?). My room is full of flowers again, colorful tulips, orchids, blends, and lilies. Its good to be back here. I'm not sure how long I'll remain, but I do know that I am happy to be here. I believe in the healing process and can't wait to learn more about myself.
Thanks for staying connected :) Here are a few photos from the penguin plunge from Whitefish Winter Carnival in early February
By the way, the penguin plunge was awesome! I would definitely do again! It might have to be a sunny day, however, as I can't even imagine a windy, cold, overcast day.. Yikes!
Enjoy, with love,
andouille
I am happy to report I am back in the welcoming arms of North Valley Hospital, here in Whitefish Montana. For those of you who are close and would like to visit, then come and see me sometime in room #120. I am pretty much just lying around for most of the day. Occasionally I'll have to do some work related stuff, but I generally have large portions of the day where I am able to complete whatever is necessary. I also have a Scrabble board on hand; so if time allows, we can even battle.
There is a large sense of relief with me, particularly with regards to being back in North Valley Hospital. I finally feel like I can actually begin healing. My body, of course, has been busy healing for some time now, yet my mind also suffered a decent amount of trauma. Most of this mental trauma likely occurred during the multiple methods of transport I endured between Whitefish and Spokane. The story of the plane ride from WF to Spokane has been revealed on a previous blog post. What I am about to tell you is the details from the four and one-half hour ambulance ride from Spokane to Whitefish.
My trip began with the thoughtful and considerate notification that I would be leaving in less than 15 minutes for Whitefish. I hadn't even gotten full confirmation that it was going to happen that day. The last I heard is that I had been cleared to be transported back and someone would be in touch to coordinate my departure. Next thing I know a nurse is walking into the room and packing my stuff. I had a few bags of things, mostly foods and teas, computer, books, etc., so it took all the 15 minutes to get everything packed and accounted for. It was 1:45pm on Saturday afternoon and I had yet to eat anything substantial up to that point. I was in no condition to travel at that moment, as I wanted to eat food, hydrate, and execute a few other necessary functions. The ambulance drivers were ready to hit the road immediately upon arrival. And just like that, I was placed into their padded ambulance bed and wheeled downstairs and outside.
I was very happy to leave Sacred Heart. I knew that once I made it back to Whitefish, I would be in better spirits and much happier overall. When we exited the hospital it was the first time I had been outside since my brief transfer on the way over. I noticed how the air felt crisp and cool, as if the air tasted like a freshly picked, early morning cucumber. I reveled in the way my skin felt familiar and at home with the cool air caressing my pores. The color in the sky allowed my eyes to daze in wonder at the brilliant blue that painted the view. This moment was brief, yet unforgettable. I was cast quickly back to reality and the increasing disparity of the situation, when I began to inquire about my access to pain medication and the plan to deal with it while traveling. My main concern was my level of comfort throughout the journey. I had been assured, prior to leaving, by the hospital staff that I would be taken care of and would likely be bringing oral medication (i.e. Norcos) to help alleviate the pain and that IV medicine would be on board to assist with immediate comfort, if needed. The ambulance crew explained they had fentanyl (similar to morphine), but they did not have very much of it and that it wouldn't really last that long. They then proceeded to tell me that most people are pretty weak in general, so that if I could stay strong and only ask for the medicine if I really needed it, that it would help us get there quicker and the whole situation in general. You can imagine my confusion at this point. I explained my situation with the hospital and asked if we could go back in and grab a Norco for the ride, because it had been a few hours since the one before. The crew mentioned that I was already discharged, so that might be more trouble than its worth.
I was a little surprised at this, albeit slightly ticked off, yet I wanted to get going. So I chose not to push the issue any further. Come to find out only one of the EMT's could actually administer the medicine, because of the different levels of being an EMT or whatever that means. That may have been the reason they wanted to limit the pain medication, because the only guy who could give it wanted to drive. I was also eager to hit the road, so they got me strapped in and we were about to leave when some people arrived at the back door of the ambulance. It was two of my former culinary arts students, Melanie Chapel and Sean Mazur!! They had been living in Spokane and heard about the accident and wanted to visit. It was great to see them and start my journey that way :) I was really happy to chat with them, if only for a few minutes, and see how well they were doing. They brought me a croissant and a salted caramel margeline from the place where Melanie works, "Madelines". How nice it was to eat such wonderful treats! I saved them for my return, when I had time to savor each bite. I said goodbye to Melanie and Sean as the door closed and the ambulance drove away.
I knew right away it was going to be a long haul. The two main reasons, each standing out like normally dressed people at a costume party, were: the ambulance was already bumping (we were still in Spokane), and the EMT riding in the back with me was cuckoo. I still remained optimistic about the journey at this point, even though said EMT was annoying me with his pestering questions and pointless stories. The sunlight was beautiful and I loved the idea of moving after being laid up in a room for so long. But that damn nuisance was right there, grabbing my arm and placing in on his leg while checking my blood pressure. WTF is up with that? I kept trying to keep my arm at my side, like I normally do when nurses are checking blood pressure, but this guy would grab my arm. I thought he was hitting on me. I think I might have confirmed he was hitting on me when we stopped, at Lookout pass, so I could pee in the "don't drink that" water bottle. When the EMT just sat there, next to me, I made sure I covered up good and just did what I could to release 600 cc (20oz) from my bladder and handed it to him.
I was in fairly significant pain at this point and asked for the pain medication. My IV receptacle that I had in my arm was no longer able to receive fluids, which we soon discovered, so instead of replacing that IV base, they decided to just shoot the fentanyl in my shoulder. So now I am getting a shot of pain medication and my shoulder begins to convulse, the muscles freak out at this new substance and immediately dance, the EMT administering the shot began massage the muscles until they relaxed. Thankfully it wasn't the cuckoo EMT, although I am sure he was a little jealous at that point. Most of my pain was coming from my sit bones, my ass, and my lower back. The ambulance bed was not extremely comfortable, it reminded me more of an amusement park seat than a patient care type vessel. If the ambulance was a theme park ride, then the thrill was to endure the experience. I discovered a great way to endure this challenge, I fell asleep.
Gone was the EMT while I was asleep. I was free to dream and relax until being jolted awake and reminded that I am in a uncomfortable ambulance ride with a nutcase next to me. The guy had good intentions, he just wanted them to be known a little too much- by any means necessary. I remember when I had just about fallen asleep and he was busy talking. Then he says "Are you sleeping? Oh wait, I think you might be sleeping. Well, I'll just ask you later then."
By the time we made it back to North Valley, I was once again totally scarred from a traumatic transportation trip. As soon as we walked in I was greeted with familiar faces, smiles, and warm regards. It was good to be back! I laughed when North Valley said "We were expecting you tomorrow!" 'Of course, you were, of course, I mean, its not like the hospital was going to call you and inform you I left today, why would they do that?' Typical, typical of my experience in Spokane. Thankfully North Valley has their stuff together and was quickly able to accommodate the ball dropping by Sacred Heart. When I saw the walls, the trim, the carpet, the hardwood floors, the paintings, and the content staff all around me, I smiled and realized I can begin healing now.
My first night back was great, I was so tired from the journey I didn't spend too much time awake. I did enjoy seeing Carmen (one of the nurses) again and was so excited to know I was in good hands. Saturday night and Sunday night have been my two best nights of rest since the accident! I can actually sleep for more than 3 hours at a time now :) I am confident I will get plenty of rest tonight too. Yesterday (Sunday) was a wonderful day, beginning with a colorful sunrise over the Columbia Mtn Range and a morning visit from my friend Stephenie. Later that day my family also came by and visited for a while. We all agreed how much we appreciate being at North Valley.
My movement is tremendous now. I can sit up in bed by myself, boost up to standing in a walker, pivot on my left leg and transfer to a wheelchair (yippee!), and then from there can actually find really cool places- like the bathroom for instance. Its a pretty big deal, getting up and moving around, and its something I am doing a couple times a day for some movement. But to have a good range of movement with a decent amount of upper body strength has helped my progress immensely. The biggest issue I have right now is intense pain in my sit bones, my ass, my lower back, and my hips. I keep trying to pinpoint the problem and why that its happening, saying things such as: 'oh it must be from the ambulance ride, i am just sore from laying in bed, maybe its the way I slept last night, or all that time I spent in the wheelchair'. What is really hilarious is what others will say when they here this, "or its because you just fractured both pelvis and several vertebrae". Oh yeah, I guess it could come from that also :)
The news came by today to film a small segment on my recovery process. It was the local NBC affiliate and the piece aired on the 5pm news. I actually wanted the interview to happen tomorrow, as I was hoping to "bulk" up a little more. Two of my favorite nurses both mentioned, as soon as I got back to North Valley, "wow you have lost some weight! What did they do to you in Spokane?" I actually have been eating a lot since being back in Whitefish, it makes me feel like myself again. Anyway here is a link to the story that aired tonight:
http://www.nbcmontana.com/news/26945839/detail.html
Here is the video:
http://www.nbcmontana.com/video/26945728/index.html
Today was a great day. Full of visits with friends and families, a couple games of Scrabble, some tasty dinner, all in all a way to celebrate President's day in style (does anyone actually celebrate this holiday?). My room is full of flowers again, colorful tulips, orchids, blends, and lilies. Its good to be back here. I'm not sure how long I'll remain, but I do know that I am happy to be here. I believe in the healing process and can't wait to learn more about myself.
Thanks for staying connected :) Here are a few photos from the penguin plunge from Whitefish Winter Carnival in early February
(first pic looks like I am having second thoughts..)
Enjoy, with love,
andouille
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Many Rivers to Cross
Dear Friends and Family,
It is late on Friday night or early on Saturday morning, depending on how you view it, and I am feeling particularly feisty. There are many factors that contribute to my current state of being, but the one that ultimately pervades all is the celebration of passing a bowel movement. The last time this occasion happened was last Sunday, midday, and the building pressure was becoming almost too much to handle. It was two days ago that I began taking things to expedite this process, such as laxatives and/or stool softeners, and just when I thought we would be headed for the last resort option (i.e. enema), the dam finally broke. I have experienced a deep sense of relief and accomplishment that ranks up there with some of my greatest achievements. It seems silly to think this once daily occurrence, that I most definitely took for granted, could become such a challenging task. Surely the heavy use of opiates over the last week has not aided the cause of regular digestion, although to go five or more days is relatively extreme given the circumstances.
This is particularly good news for many reasons. Not only can get myself up out of bed to use a bedside toilet, the movement also clears me for travel back to Whitefish. I don't know if I will be leaving tomorrow (Saturday), but I am confident that if I do not leave tomorrow I will be leaving on Sunday for sure. Another factor contributing to me feeling feisty is the amount of visitors in the last 48 hours. Last night a beloved yogini and Anusara inspired teacher Bonnie Kiser, and her husband Scott, stopped by to see me, unexpectedly, en route to their vacation in the Florida Keys. They were flying out of Spokane so they drove over to spend the night before their morning flight. It was so wonderful to see both of them. Bonnie is one of my favorite people to practice yoga with. She embodies a balance of power and grace that is both beautiful and admirable. She is almost always at the 3 hour practice in Polson and she is my favorite person to place my mat next to. She reminded me how much my yoga practice will assist with my healing process, and how they are one in the same, more or less. I was stunned at their surprise visit and very happy to be able to spend some time with them. Here is a picture of the two of them:
An aptly named title for the journey ahead, there are many rivers to cross indeed. I reached a critical point earlier today that challenged my will and attitude towards this whole experience of healing. It was probably the first time I actually felt like crying, frustration bubbling up through my being, the pain of my condition began to take hold. Its not like the pain has worsened; in fact, its only gotten better over time. Nor has my mobility been stagnant, as the movements have been my greatest inspiration to be able to view my progress over time. What it is has to do with; however, is the pressure beginning to take hold, threatening to strangle my attitude as well as my approach to this entire process. A major part of this pressure building was the activities currently taking place at the Restaurant, that I will now share with you.
Yesterday morning (Thursday) I received a call from my Sous Chef indicating that the nerves in his back have seized up so much, that he was headed to see a doctor. He could barely walk and was struggling with severe pain, both crippling and debilitating. The irony here is that his hips and his back have been a source of pain for some time now, the same major ailments that plague my current condition. So after his visit with the doctor he would need to be off his feet for a minimum of 4 days, with the outlook closer to 5-7 days. Here we are heading into our second busiest weekend of the season (outside of Xmas/New Years stretch), due to the fact that its President's Day weekend, and the Sous Chef would be unavailable. So we went with our next option, one of my lead line cooks, who is essentially the number three guy (behind me and my sous).
So I spent a good portion of the day yesterday communicating with my number four cook to figure out what condition the Restaurant is in. Since we change the menu nightly, it was imperative I got a full assessment of how much product we had on hand, current menu items, available staff, sauces, prep lists, etc.. Basically I had to operate the kitchen from my hospital bed in Spokane with only a telephone to communicate what needed to happen. My number three guy was also feeling very ill due to a stomach virus. After about 4-5 hours of working with my cooks, ensuring product was ordered for the weekend, designing a menu that could be easily executed while utilizing perishable goods, and just overall planning the evening as if I would be there but am not, I somehow managed to set the kitchen crew up for success. It was a difficult evening for them, although from the sound of it everything went fairly well considering the circumstances.
And that was Thursday. And it wore me out having to shift my focus from healing to managing the Restaurant. None-the-less its part of what I do everyday when we are open, so the concept was not foreign to me. Being severely injured, with limited mobility, and having hospital staff in and out of the room wanting to run tests and check in on all kinds of things was foreign to me though, and made for a very eventful day. I'll spare the details, but lets just say I was extremely busy balancing everything from the bed.
And then there was today. So if it was hard yesterday, my task was doubled today when I found out my number three guy is so sick from the stomach flu that he would likely not be able to work. It is situations like these when the thought of actually closing the Restaurant comes into play. Even though it is a last resort, I live by the philosophy that failure is not an option. And closing the Restaurant, on one of the busiest weekends of the year, seemed like failure. Part of what I have been trying to maintain is the level and quality at which the Restaurant has become famous for operating at. I want to clearly send a message through the staff and local community that despite me being in a hospital, the Restaurant is still operating "business as usual". I am still very much involved in what is taking place there, even though so many that are close to me suggest I let it go. But that is not an option right now, with the reputation of all of our hard work and energy at stake, considering the back of the house staff is depleted like the peace in Egypt.
The whole idea is that none of our guests would notice the difference of me not being there. I have worked extremely hard, as have my staff, over the last few months, to ensure the continuity of the program and that our mission remains intact whether I am cooking at the Restaurant or not. Ever since my accident this idea has been spotlighted, and now the last few days it has been amplified.
So with the news this morning I began placing phone calls to various people I knew could handle the daunting task of working a challenging station, our Saute position, to fill in for this emergency situation. Knowing I had my number four, five, and six guys available to maintain their roles, I needed someone that could fill in. My first three choices were unavailable, and I went with a friend of mine who used to be a sous chef for me about 5 years ago. It took a major adjustment and reduction of the menu in order to make this even remotely possible. I did what I could do from my hospital bed and communicated with my back of the house staff the best I could, arranging them to be able to execute the menu with essentially a brand new person in the kitchen (a lot has changed in five years). From 11am PST to 5:30pm PST, I was on the phone, either with my friend who volunteered his services, my dining room manager/sommelier, my number four guy, our on speakerphone with the entire kitchen crew managing prep lists and delegating tasks so that we would be prepared. The doors to the Restaurant open at 5:30pm MST, and I was still on the phone giving directions on how the night would take place, right up until the first few orders came through the kitchen.
We did the best we could. I gave it all I had. I don't know if it was enough or not, but in the end it had to be. In talking with my number four guy after service, he said it was busy and crazy but that we pulled through and made it happen. I was too exhausted to probe any further and get full feedback on the night from my front of the house crew. I am guessing it was as good as it could have been. No news is generally good news. I am anxious to find out the results tomorrow when I have more energy to review the evening. Funny thing is tomorrow night (Saturday) is going to be the peak of the weekend with the busiest evening yet.
So we are back at square one, more or less, with regards to tomorrow. It will be another tremendous challenge, but we will do what we always do, which is just enough to survive. In this business, as long as the show goes on out front to the diners, it matters not the craziness that takes place backstage. It is very similar to a theater production, the audience will only see what takes place on stage. Thankfully the front of the house staff is both talented and experienced, and they also are fully in tact. Although I wouldn't be surprised if something happened to one of them before tomorrow's shift at the rate things are going.
My number three guy should be available, giving the back of the house staff and added boost, and I will likely spend another 3-4 hours on the phone tomorrow directing traffic from my bed. These are all duties my sous chef would normally perform, so with him being out it is up to me to conduct the crew. I hope you can now see why I felt like cracking and folding under all the intense pressure that existed today.
They say diamonds and other precious gems are made this way, from intense pressure and heat. I have always believed that the harder the challenge, the sweeter the success. Life is unique in that way and I look forward to tasting the nectar of delight following this enduring phase.
I would finally like to share another story about an unexpected visit today from Jenni Fallein and her husband Roger. She too is a yogini and a teacher, yet she is also an amazing musician. I've had the pleasure and honor to attend some of her Kirtan's in the past and she is absolutely incredible. You could imagine my surprise when they walked through the door. Here is a picture of them:
Later in the day, when my family was gone, I was off the phone, and the pressure was mounting to that critical point, what saved me was a chant that Jenni normally includes in her Kirtan. Because of her visit I was reminded that I have these mantras available to me, it was through this healing sound that I was able to reconnect with the energy that has got me this far. The chant is:
jaya ganesha, jaya ganesha, jaya ganesha pahiman
sri ganesha, sri ganesha, sri ganesha rakshaman
I sang this over and over. The healing properties are beyond wisdom, thought, and medicine. Ganesh is the remover of obstacles. I have no doubt that this greatly aided in my ability to pass the bowel movement. I also have no doubt that moving forward, the breath and mantras will assist me with crossing the many rivers that are still flowing.
Oh, and finally, for the second year in a row, I was nominated as "Best Chef in the NW region" by the James Beard Award Foundation!!!
It is late on Friday night or early on Saturday morning, depending on how you view it, and I am feeling particularly feisty. There are many factors that contribute to my current state of being, but the one that ultimately pervades all is the celebration of passing a bowel movement. The last time this occasion happened was last Sunday, midday, and the building pressure was becoming almost too much to handle. It was two days ago that I began taking things to expedite this process, such as laxatives and/or stool softeners, and just when I thought we would be headed for the last resort option (i.e. enema), the dam finally broke. I have experienced a deep sense of relief and accomplishment that ranks up there with some of my greatest achievements. It seems silly to think this once daily occurrence, that I most definitely took for granted, could become such a challenging task. Surely the heavy use of opiates over the last week has not aided the cause of regular digestion, although to go five or more days is relatively extreme given the circumstances.
This is particularly good news for many reasons. Not only can get myself up out of bed to use a bedside toilet, the movement also clears me for travel back to Whitefish. I don't know if I will be leaving tomorrow (Saturday), but I am confident that if I do not leave tomorrow I will be leaving on Sunday for sure. Another factor contributing to me feeling feisty is the amount of visitors in the last 48 hours. Last night a beloved yogini and Anusara inspired teacher Bonnie Kiser, and her husband Scott, stopped by to see me, unexpectedly, en route to their vacation in the Florida Keys. They were flying out of Spokane so they drove over to spend the night before their morning flight. It was so wonderful to see both of them. Bonnie is one of my favorite people to practice yoga with. She embodies a balance of power and grace that is both beautiful and admirable. She is almost always at the 3 hour practice in Polson and she is my favorite person to place my mat next to. She reminded me how much my yoga practice will assist with my healing process, and how they are one in the same, more or less. I was stunned at their surprise visit and very happy to be able to spend some time with them. Here is a picture of the two of them:
An aptly named title for the journey ahead, there are many rivers to cross indeed. I reached a critical point earlier today that challenged my will and attitude towards this whole experience of healing. It was probably the first time I actually felt like crying, frustration bubbling up through my being, the pain of my condition began to take hold. Its not like the pain has worsened; in fact, its only gotten better over time. Nor has my mobility been stagnant, as the movements have been my greatest inspiration to be able to view my progress over time. What it is has to do with; however, is the pressure beginning to take hold, threatening to strangle my attitude as well as my approach to this entire process. A major part of this pressure building was the activities currently taking place at the Restaurant, that I will now share with you.
Yesterday morning (Thursday) I received a call from my Sous Chef indicating that the nerves in his back have seized up so much, that he was headed to see a doctor. He could barely walk and was struggling with severe pain, both crippling and debilitating. The irony here is that his hips and his back have been a source of pain for some time now, the same major ailments that plague my current condition. So after his visit with the doctor he would need to be off his feet for a minimum of 4 days, with the outlook closer to 5-7 days. Here we are heading into our second busiest weekend of the season (outside of Xmas/New Years stretch), due to the fact that its President's Day weekend, and the Sous Chef would be unavailable. So we went with our next option, one of my lead line cooks, who is essentially the number three guy (behind me and my sous).
So I spent a good portion of the day yesterday communicating with my number four cook to figure out what condition the Restaurant is in. Since we change the menu nightly, it was imperative I got a full assessment of how much product we had on hand, current menu items, available staff, sauces, prep lists, etc.. Basically I had to operate the kitchen from my hospital bed in Spokane with only a telephone to communicate what needed to happen. My number three guy was also feeling very ill due to a stomach virus. After about 4-5 hours of working with my cooks, ensuring product was ordered for the weekend, designing a menu that could be easily executed while utilizing perishable goods, and just overall planning the evening as if I would be there but am not, I somehow managed to set the kitchen crew up for success. It was a difficult evening for them, although from the sound of it everything went fairly well considering the circumstances.
And that was Thursday. And it wore me out having to shift my focus from healing to managing the Restaurant. None-the-less its part of what I do everyday when we are open, so the concept was not foreign to me. Being severely injured, with limited mobility, and having hospital staff in and out of the room wanting to run tests and check in on all kinds of things was foreign to me though, and made for a very eventful day. I'll spare the details, but lets just say I was extremely busy balancing everything from the bed.
And then there was today. So if it was hard yesterday, my task was doubled today when I found out my number three guy is so sick from the stomach flu that he would likely not be able to work. It is situations like these when the thought of actually closing the Restaurant comes into play. Even though it is a last resort, I live by the philosophy that failure is not an option. And closing the Restaurant, on one of the busiest weekends of the year, seemed like failure. Part of what I have been trying to maintain is the level and quality at which the Restaurant has become famous for operating at. I want to clearly send a message through the staff and local community that despite me being in a hospital, the Restaurant is still operating "business as usual". I am still very much involved in what is taking place there, even though so many that are close to me suggest I let it go. But that is not an option right now, with the reputation of all of our hard work and energy at stake, considering the back of the house staff is depleted like the peace in Egypt.
The whole idea is that none of our guests would notice the difference of me not being there. I have worked extremely hard, as have my staff, over the last few months, to ensure the continuity of the program and that our mission remains intact whether I am cooking at the Restaurant or not. Ever since my accident this idea has been spotlighted, and now the last few days it has been amplified.
So with the news this morning I began placing phone calls to various people I knew could handle the daunting task of working a challenging station, our Saute position, to fill in for this emergency situation. Knowing I had my number four, five, and six guys available to maintain their roles, I needed someone that could fill in. My first three choices were unavailable, and I went with a friend of mine who used to be a sous chef for me about 5 years ago. It took a major adjustment and reduction of the menu in order to make this even remotely possible. I did what I could do from my hospital bed and communicated with my back of the house staff the best I could, arranging them to be able to execute the menu with essentially a brand new person in the kitchen (a lot has changed in five years). From 11am PST to 5:30pm PST, I was on the phone, either with my friend who volunteered his services, my dining room manager/sommelier, my number four guy, our on speakerphone with the entire kitchen crew managing prep lists and delegating tasks so that we would be prepared. The doors to the Restaurant open at 5:30pm MST, and I was still on the phone giving directions on how the night would take place, right up until the first few orders came through the kitchen.
We did the best we could. I gave it all I had. I don't know if it was enough or not, but in the end it had to be. In talking with my number four guy after service, he said it was busy and crazy but that we pulled through and made it happen. I was too exhausted to probe any further and get full feedback on the night from my front of the house crew. I am guessing it was as good as it could have been. No news is generally good news. I am anxious to find out the results tomorrow when I have more energy to review the evening. Funny thing is tomorrow night (Saturday) is going to be the peak of the weekend with the busiest evening yet.
So we are back at square one, more or less, with regards to tomorrow. It will be another tremendous challenge, but we will do what we always do, which is just enough to survive. In this business, as long as the show goes on out front to the diners, it matters not the craziness that takes place backstage. It is very similar to a theater production, the audience will only see what takes place on stage. Thankfully the front of the house staff is both talented and experienced, and they also are fully in tact. Although I wouldn't be surprised if something happened to one of them before tomorrow's shift at the rate things are going.
My number three guy should be available, giving the back of the house staff and added boost, and I will likely spend another 3-4 hours on the phone tomorrow directing traffic from my bed. These are all duties my sous chef would normally perform, so with him being out it is up to me to conduct the crew. I hope you can now see why I felt like cracking and folding under all the intense pressure that existed today.
They say diamonds and other precious gems are made this way, from intense pressure and heat. I have always believed that the harder the challenge, the sweeter the success. Life is unique in that way and I look forward to tasting the nectar of delight following this enduring phase.
I would finally like to share another story about an unexpected visit today from Jenni Fallein and her husband Roger. She too is a yogini and a teacher, yet she is also an amazing musician. I've had the pleasure and honor to attend some of her Kirtan's in the past and she is absolutely incredible. You could imagine my surprise when they walked through the door. Here is a picture of them:
Later in the day, when my family was gone, I was off the phone, and the pressure was mounting to that critical point, what saved me was a chant that Jenni normally includes in her Kirtan. Because of her visit I was reminded that I have these mantras available to me, it was through this healing sound that I was able to reconnect with the energy that has got me this far. The chant is:
jaya ganesha, jaya ganesha, jaya ganesha pahiman
sri ganesha, sri ganesha, sri ganesha rakshaman
I sang this over and over. The healing properties are beyond wisdom, thought, and medicine. Ganesh is the remover of obstacles. I have no doubt that this greatly aided in my ability to pass the bowel movement. I also have no doubt that moving forward, the breath and mantras will assist me with crossing the many rivers that are still flowing.
Oh, and finally, for the second year in a row, I was nominated as "Best Chef in the NW region" by the James Beard Award Foundation!!!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
The Bionic Spokompton Surgery
Hello everyone,
I am absolutely elated to report the Surgery went extremely well. Everything looks good and I have been cleared to begin training for marathons starting tomorrow. Only problem is I will not be able to put both feet on the pavement for a few months. So it looks like I'll be visualizing a lot of my training. In all seriousness, though, my range of motion has improved tremendously. I could barely move my legs before this morning. Now I can literally bend my knees enough to scratch my thighs, readjust my feet for comfort, and various other subtle additions.
It feels monumental to have accomplished what my journey to Spokane was all about. The procedure was well executed, the team was undoubtedly professional, and the facilities of the Operating Room certainly makes up for the lack of luxury here in the hospital. Having a stable pelvis and a new found movement with my legs makes up for all the trials endured regarding my travels here.
The morning began with me awaking around 8:05am or so. I stayed in and out of a dazed state until I finally woke up around 8:25am. It was 8:30am when I was informed I'd be going into surgery. They would be showing up, in 10 to 15 minutes, to take me downstairs. What a way to start the day! I had zero idea this would be the case. From there I was downstairs by 9:00am. At 9:35am, I was in the Operating Room taking my last breaths of oxygen before heading to la la land.
It was about 11:30am when I came back to reality in the recovery room. My teeth were rattling like crazy and my body was mildly convulsing. They gave me some demerol to calm everything down. I finally settled a bit and asked what time it was. 11:40 was the response from the nurse. "What?!" I knew I needed to get back upstairs, stat! I shared this with the nurse with a tone of desperation. She mentioned someone would be transporting me upstairs to my room in about 10 or 15 minutes. So it wasn't until 12:05pm that I made it back to my room and quickly turned on the game I was dying to see, Barcelona vs. Arsenal in Champions League play (that's soccer for you laymen).
I watched the game with tremendous interest and intensity. Barca took a 1-0 lead, away from home, only to be reversed by Arsenal as the final score ended in 2-1 to Arsenal. This is only the first of two legs, the next match will be played in Barcelona and the total aggregate over both legs will determine the winner and who advances. In the event of a tie in the aggregate totals, the team with more away goals will advance. So Barca leaving with an away goal is a positive result, so to speak, despite failing to convert several other chances. My family enjoyed my colorful comments throughout the game, at least I think they did, as they were on hand for most of the second half. It was pretty entertaining watching them trying to calm me down.
At any rate, the rest of my afternoon went very well. I actually have a new found pain where my incision was placed below my navel. Apparently there are some staples down there too, so some exterior pain now exists. Not to worry, however, I had enough drugs given to me today to operate a small town pharmacy. I have been icing that area non-stop, trying to relieve the pain and reduce the swelling. I also have a few brilliant yellow and purple bruises on my hips that look very attractive.
Aside from all of that, I am feeling really good. I am looking forward to tomorrow and measuring my new bionic body with some physical therapy. They will be waning me off the button tomorrow and moving me towards oral medication for the rest of the recovery. I have been celebrating this transition tonight with a few extra button pushes!
It appears as though I will spend the next few months in a wheelchair. I'll be able to put some pressure on my left leg which will allow me to pivot and put myself in and out of the wheelchair. It is an exciting prospect indeed to be moving around once again! I am hoping to return to Whitefish and North Valley as soon as this weekend to begin some of the rehab. I will know more details about that very soon and I will most certainly post them on here.
It is very gratifying knowing I have an audience of loved ones supporting my progress and that all of you are reading this blog. I love to write and its definitely a passion of mine. I am grateful and honored to be able to share this experience with all of you.
With love, from the city of Spokompton,
andy (aka andouille)
I am absolutely elated to report the Surgery went extremely well. Everything looks good and I have been cleared to begin training for marathons starting tomorrow. Only problem is I will not be able to put both feet on the pavement for a few months. So it looks like I'll be visualizing a lot of my training. In all seriousness, though, my range of motion has improved tremendously. I could barely move my legs before this morning. Now I can literally bend my knees enough to scratch my thighs, readjust my feet for comfort, and various other subtle additions.
It feels monumental to have accomplished what my journey to Spokane was all about. The procedure was well executed, the team was undoubtedly professional, and the facilities of the Operating Room certainly makes up for the lack of luxury here in the hospital. Having a stable pelvis and a new found movement with my legs makes up for all the trials endured regarding my travels here.
The morning began with me awaking around 8:05am or so. I stayed in and out of a dazed state until I finally woke up around 8:25am. It was 8:30am when I was informed I'd be going into surgery. They would be showing up, in 10 to 15 minutes, to take me downstairs. What a way to start the day! I had zero idea this would be the case. From there I was downstairs by 9:00am. At 9:35am, I was in the Operating Room taking my last breaths of oxygen before heading to la la land.
It was about 11:30am when I came back to reality in the recovery room. My teeth were rattling like crazy and my body was mildly convulsing. They gave me some demerol to calm everything down. I finally settled a bit and asked what time it was. 11:40 was the response from the nurse. "What?!" I knew I needed to get back upstairs, stat! I shared this with the nurse with a tone of desperation. She mentioned someone would be transporting me upstairs to my room in about 10 or 15 minutes. So it wasn't until 12:05pm that I made it back to my room and quickly turned on the game I was dying to see, Barcelona vs. Arsenal in Champions League play (that's soccer for you laymen).
I watched the game with tremendous interest and intensity. Barca took a 1-0 lead, away from home, only to be reversed by Arsenal as the final score ended in 2-1 to Arsenal. This is only the first of two legs, the next match will be played in Barcelona and the total aggregate over both legs will determine the winner and who advances. In the event of a tie in the aggregate totals, the team with more away goals will advance. So Barca leaving with an away goal is a positive result, so to speak, despite failing to convert several other chances. My family enjoyed my colorful comments throughout the game, at least I think they did, as they were on hand for most of the second half. It was pretty entertaining watching them trying to calm me down.
At any rate, the rest of my afternoon went very well. I actually have a new found pain where my incision was placed below my navel. Apparently there are some staples down there too, so some exterior pain now exists. Not to worry, however, I had enough drugs given to me today to operate a small town pharmacy. I have been icing that area non-stop, trying to relieve the pain and reduce the swelling. I also have a few brilliant yellow and purple bruises on my hips that look very attractive.
Aside from all of that, I am feeling really good. I am looking forward to tomorrow and measuring my new bionic body with some physical therapy. They will be waning me off the button tomorrow and moving me towards oral medication for the rest of the recovery. I have been celebrating this transition tonight with a few extra button pushes!
It appears as though I will spend the next few months in a wheelchair. I'll be able to put some pressure on my left leg which will allow me to pivot and put myself in and out of the wheelchair. It is an exciting prospect indeed to be moving around once again! I am hoping to return to Whitefish and North Valley as soon as this weekend to begin some of the rehab. I will know more details about that very soon and I will most certainly post them on here.
It is very gratifying knowing I have an audience of loved ones supporting my progress and that all of you are reading this blog. I love to write and its definitely a passion of mine. I am grateful and honored to be able to share this experience with all of you.
With love, from the city of Spokompton,
andy (aka andouille)
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
The Story of Amoeba and the White Wall
Dearest Friends and Loved Ones,
Here I lie, in the Sacred Heart Hopsital Bed, in Spokane, Washington, with my two dear pals the lion and the gorilla. They are two stuffed animals that were given to me by friends while I was still in Whitefish. They have not left my side yet; they have slept with me and kept me company throughout the stretch of time I have spent inside the Hospitals. The gorilla has a giant heart held in between his hands, reminding me of the love so many people are giving me. The lion represents the courage and strength I am attuning to. This new room in Spokane is far, far different from what I am used to inside the luxurious North Valley Hospital in Whitefish, MT.
If North Valley is a Five Star Resort, then Sacred Heart is the Holiday Inn. I was warned before coming that it would be a "white walled" hospital. I had an idea what I was getting into, and the linoleum floor I pictured before arriving actually fit the description I imagined. What I could not prepare for was the flurry of activity outside my room door. It's like I am in a small annex, or better yet, a closet located directly in administration. I keep my door closed and my headphones are equally as important as the oxygen tubes in my nose, for they drown out the sound of the phones ringing, the hustle and bustle of the office, and the undesirable noises that sneak in through the cracks in the door. I am on the 4th floor and my view consists of another building next door and some random streets. A far cry from the glorious Columbia Range that I often awoke early to witness the sunrise over the peaks, just by turning my head while laying in bed.
Its okay though, its not all doom and gloom here. Its just a white walled compound where I am waiting in a queue for pelvic surgery. Actually I guess the walls are a faint shade of violet (to be completely specific). I am scheduled to go in sometime tomorrow afternoon for surgery, if they finish early on the six other pelvic surgeries scheduled. In the event that I do not make the cut for tomorrow, they will perform surgery on Thursday morning. None-the-less I must not eat or drink anything at all beginning tonight at 3am. At first, they issued the MPO (this means no food or drink for you!) starting at 12am midnight. I was able to lobby my case with the doctors and prove that if I was not going to start surgery until the afternoon, then why not give me a few extra hours to consume some water. Especially in case I wake up parched, in the middle of the night (considering this has been the routine since I arrived inside Hospital care on last Thursday). There is something uncomfortable about feeling like a grain of sand blowing across the sahara in search of the cool oasis.
If you are offended by descriptive details of ailments, then skip this paragraph. If you don't mind a little humor and honesty, read on :) I am presently sipping on a packet of Emergen-C, the Acai Berry flavor, which color resembles a newly discovered disproportionate body part. The other day as I was re-arranging certain body parts, I noticed an increased enlargement of my scrotum area. I then pulled up my nightgown to reveal a massive purple blob, about the size of a racquet ball, and again the hue is as dark as grape juice. I was horrified at this discovery and immediately thought something was beyond wrong. The doctor just shrugged and said, "Well, that's to be expected." Really? Are you sure? "Yep" was his answer as he nonchalantly walked off.
If there is any body part that currently describes my condition it is this; I feel like a big purple blog. So just call me an amoeba. The bright side of this hospital is I get to administer my pain intake with the almighty button. So every 8 minutes there is a .2mg dosage of Diluadid available to me if I decide to press the button. This is almost the same dosage I was receiving in Whitefish every 2 hours (.25mg), although to be fair I was also allowed oral medication at North Valley. Now you might think I am just hitting the button as if I am a contestant on Jeopardy, but actually I did learn something from my previous doctor's resistance to allowing more pain medication, so I am using it only as needed regarding my condition. I can tell you that the lack of Reiki, massage, and energy from friends and family who visited in Montana is deeply missed and my pain seems to be recurring with more frequency since my stuffed animal pals haven't quite mastered the art of healing touch.
I also miss the nurses and the special care I received at North Valley. I could actually get my back rubbed if I asked for it there, the nurses were beyond accommodating and made me feel incredibly welcome. Here in Sacred Heart I am just the guy in room 449 who likes to be treated gently and kindly. The nurses here are nice and all, they take good care of me, its just that they are attending to a lot more patients and I am just another one in the queue. I will be glad when I return to North Valley and I am already looking forward to the smiling faces, carpeted floors, stunning views, and detailed attention that embraces each and every patient there.
The plane ride over here was miserable in every sense of the word. I was initially very excited about the prospect of flying privately, yet that excitement melted quickly as soon as we took off and the turbulence began. The medication could do little to guard against the heat flashes I began to experience, as well as the worst jolting and bumping I have ever experienced on any flight. Keep in mind I was lying down and the nausea set in like a snowstorm with each and every breath. I broke out in a full body sweat and began to swear profusely. I felt like a mummy wrapped in a tomb, only the tomb was in a sauna and there was an earthquake going on. When they finally opened up my "wrapping" and allowed some air flow to cool my body, I gradually began to feel relief. I denied any more medication as I was more concerned about the nausea than I was about my pain. This pervaded even though they injected ant-nausea medicine intravenously prior to take off. I finally felt alive when we landed and exited the plane. The snowflakes were a touch of heaven as we moved from the plane to the ambulance. The ground crew was appalled that I denied a blanket over my half naked chest during the few minutes it took to transfer from the plane to the ambulance. Meanwhile I basked in my relief and comfort and requested we "wait a few minutes" before moving again so that my core could settle and my breath could return to its soothing nature.
I am not nervous nor scared about my surgery tomorrow. Apparently they will be inserting a plate just below my navel by making a smiley face incision. All of you lucky ladies out there will now have a big smiley face to greet you should you happen to, well, you know what I mean :) Anyway they will insert a plate to secure my left side pelvis and drive a screw threw my back near my illiac crest to hold this in place. The other screw will be drilled on my right side near my hip to secure the parts over there will mend together. The whole process should take no more than an hour and I have been assured I will not recall any of the procedure. I'll do my best to get my family to take photos of my condition prior to regaining full consciousness but while I am "awake". Should be a laughable affair. All for now, dear readers. I feel as if this blog allows me to talk to each and every one of you while maintaining my strength and stamina. I hope you are enjoying these updates as much as I am.
Lastly, I will be watching my beloved Barcelona futbol team take on Arsenal in Champions League play. This is as important to me as the surgery itself. In fact, I have even contemplated sabotaging the surgery if they call me in early by sneaking in some food so that I will still be able to watch the game. Don't tell my parents this, or the doctors, they might get mad. I have a feeling it'll all work out none-the-less. Below is a video that encompasses the passion Barca sparks. This is from a delightful win against our fiercest rivals, Real Madrid, earlier in the year. It was the fifth time in a row Barcelona had beaten Madrid, and they did it in style, by a score of 5-0. In Spanish, they call this "La Manita". Here's to hoping my surgery and recovery is in a similar light of victory, so we can all "high five" each other performing "La Manita". If you have about 10 mins, go ahead and view the passion. Enjoy :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvBcF0Sml7Q
In light and love
Andy (and the gorilla, and the lion)
Here I lie, in the Sacred Heart Hopsital Bed, in Spokane, Washington, with my two dear pals the lion and the gorilla. They are two stuffed animals that were given to me by friends while I was still in Whitefish. They have not left my side yet; they have slept with me and kept me company throughout the stretch of time I have spent inside the Hospitals. The gorilla has a giant heart held in between his hands, reminding me of the love so many people are giving me. The lion represents the courage and strength I am attuning to. This new room in Spokane is far, far different from what I am used to inside the luxurious North Valley Hospital in Whitefish, MT.
If North Valley is a Five Star Resort, then Sacred Heart is the Holiday Inn. I was warned before coming that it would be a "white walled" hospital. I had an idea what I was getting into, and the linoleum floor I pictured before arriving actually fit the description I imagined. What I could not prepare for was the flurry of activity outside my room door. It's like I am in a small annex, or better yet, a closet located directly in administration. I keep my door closed and my headphones are equally as important as the oxygen tubes in my nose, for they drown out the sound of the phones ringing, the hustle and bustle of the office, and the undesirable noises that sneak in through the cracks in the door. I am on the 4th floor and my view consists of another building next door and some random streets. A far cry from the glorious Columbia Range that I often awoke early to witness the sunrise over the peaks, just by turning my head while laying in bed.
Its okay though, its not all doom and gloom here. Its just a white walled compound where I am waiting in a queue for pelvic surgery. Actually I guess the walls are a faint shade of violet (to be completely specific). I am scheduled to go in sometime tomorrow afternoon for surgery, if they finish early on the six other pelvic surgeries scheduled. In the event that I do not make the cut for tomorrow, they will perform surgery on Thursday morning. None-the-less I must not eat or drink anything at all beginning tonight at 3am. At first, they issued the MPO (this means no food or drink for you!) starting at 12am midnight. I was able to lobby my case with the doctors and prove that if I was not going to start surgery until the afternoon, then why not give me a few extra hours to consume some water. Especially in case I wake up parched, in the middle of the night (considering this has been the routine since I arrived inside Hospital care on last Thursday). There is something uncomfortable about feeling like a grain of sand blowing across the sahara in search of the cool oasis.
If you are offended by descriptive details of ailments, then skip this paragraph. If you don't mind a little humor and honesty, read on :) I am presently sipping on a packet of Emergen-C, the Acai Berry flavor, which color resembles a newly discovered disproportionate body part. The other day as I was re-arranging certain body parts, I noticed an increased enlargement of my scrotum area. I then pulled up my nightgown to reveal a massive purple blob, about the size of a racquet ball, and again the hue is as dark as grape juice. I was horrified at this discovery and immediately thought something was beyond wrong. The doctor just shrugged and said, "Well, that's to be expected." Really? Are you sure? "Yep" was his answer as he nonchalantly walked off.
If there is any body part that currently describes my condition it is this; I feel like a big purple blog. So just call me an amoeba. The bright side of this hospital is I get to administer my pain intake with the almighty button. So every 8 minutes there is a .2mg dosage of Diluadid available to me if I decide to press the button. This is almost the same dosage I was receiving in Whitefish every 2 hours (.25mg), although to be fair I was also allowed oral medication at North Valley. Now you might think I am just hitting the button as if I am a contestant on Jeopardy, but actually I did learn something from my previous doctor's resistance to allowing more pain medication, so I am using it only as needed regarding my condition. I can tell you that the lack of Reiki, massage, and energy from friends and family who visited in Montana is deeply missed and my pain seems to be recurring with more frequency since my stuffed animal pals haven't quite mastered the art of healing touch.
I also miss the nurses and the special care I received at North Valley. I could actually get my back rubbed if I asked for it there, the nurses were beyond accommodating and made me feel incredibly welcome. Here in Sacred Heart I am just the guy in room 449 who likes to be treated gently and kindly. The nurses here are nice and all, they take good care of me, its just that they are attending to a lot more patients and I am just another one in the queue. I will be glad when I return to North Valley and I am already looking forward to the smiling faces, carpeted floors, stunning views, and detailed attention that embraces each and every patient there.
The plane ride over here was miserable in every sense of the word. I was initially very excited about the prospect of flying privately, yet that excitement melted quickly as soon as we took off and the turbulence began. The medication could do little to guard against the heat flashes I began to experience, as well as the worst jolting and bumping I have ever experienced on any flight. Keep in mind I was lying down and the nausea set in like a snowstorm with each and every breath. I broke out in a full body sweat and began to swear profusely. I felt like a mummy wrapped in a tomb, only the tomb was in a sauna and there was an earthquake going on. When they finally opened up my "wrapping" and allowed some air flow to cool my body, I gradually began to feel relief. I denied any more medication as I was more concerned about the nausea than I was about my pain. This pervaded even though they injected ant-nausea medicine intravenously prior to take off. I finally felt alive when we landed and exited the plane. The snowflakes were a touch of heaven as we moved from the plane to the ambulance. The ground crew was appalled that I denied a blanket over my half naked chest during the few minutes it took to transfer from the plane to the ambulance. Meanwhile I basked in my relief and comfort and requested we "wait a few minutes" before moving again so that my core could settle and my breath could return to its soothing nature.
I am not nervous nor scared about my surgery tomorrow. Apparently they will be inserting a plate just below my navel by making a smiley face incision. All of you lucky ladies out there will now have a big smiley face to greet you should you happen to, well, you know what I mean :) Anyway they will insert a plate to secure my left side pelvis and drive a screw threw my back near my illiac crest to hold this in place. The other screw will be drilled on my right side near my hip to secure the parts over there will mend together. The whole process should take no more than an hour and I have been assured I will not recall any of the procedure. I'll do my best to get my family to take photos of my condition prior to regaining full consciousness but while I am "awake". Should be a laughable affair. All for now, dear readers. I feel as if this blog allows me to talk to each and every one of you while maintaining my strength and stamina. I hope you are enjoying these updates as much as I am.
Lastly, I will be watching my beloved Barcelona futbol team take on Arsenal in Champions League play. This is as important to me as the surgery itself. In fact, I have even contemplated sabotaging the surgery if they call me in early by sneaking in some food so that I will still be able to watch the game. Don't tell my parents this, or the doctors, they might get mad. I have a feeling it'll all work out none-the-less. Below is a video that encompasses the passion Barca sparks. This is from a delightful win against our fiercest rivals, Real Madrid, earlier in the year. It was the fifth time in a row Barcelona had beaten Madrid, and they did it in style, by a score of 5-0. In Spanish, they call this "La Manita". Here's to hoping my surgery and recovery is in a similar light of victory, so we can all "high five" each other performing "La Manita". If you have about 10 mins, go ahead and view the passion. Enjoy :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvBcF0Sml7Q
In light and love
Andy (and the gorilla, and the lion)
Monday, February 14, 2011
New Developments are taking place
Hello dear friends. Today is Monday, the time is just after noon, and I just received some challenging news. I will be flown to Spokane, Washington, for surgery on my left pelvic area. The surgery will take place on Wednesday or Thursday, I will be flying privately on a fixed wing plane. Its difficult to accept the necessary procedure of performing surgery; yet at the same time this should alleviate a lot of unknowns regarding my condition, as well as stabilize my affected areas so that I may heal a little quicker and more properly.
Last night and this morning were extremely long and arduous. I was receiving tests every hour to evaluate my condition. The concern was the internal bleeding and the source of where it was coming from. I received a total of about 1400ml of blood from a transfusion. It is interesting to know you are receiving somebody else's blood, especially close to two wine bottles worth of reduced, concentrated blood. I imagine the person's blood to be a strong, healthy, and intelligent person, so that this new blood will make me stronger and more complete. I then imagine myself having more wisdom as a result of this transfusion :)
My dreams were full of randomness and chaos. Sleep is a relative term when reduced to one position in a hospital and limited pain medication. It reminds me of the time I took a Greyhound bus from Whitefish, MT to New York City (round trip). Each leg takes three days AND three nights. The nights are the hardest parts of a greyhound trip. The hospital isn't quite as intense as the Greyhound bus or anything, but the nights do last a LOT longer than the days. A combination of no visitors and extreme soreness, limited movement, etc.. all add up to a long night.
So the music on my ipod helps soothe the challenges of the long nights. I feel transported when I can immerse in the sound of my favorite tunes.
It is now 9:50pm and I am finishing my blog post. It was an eventful day and the details of flying to Spokane are set. I leave at 8am and will be getting in an ambulance, then flying to Spokane. I guess I am excited about flying privately again. Maybe I can get a picture or two of the flight and can post them here some time while I am in Spokompton. I will be sad to leave this wonderful hospital, it gives new meaning to the word "hospitable" as the staff here are incredibly friendly, professional, and welcoming. I do not know how long I will be in Spokane, although I do know it will only be my family there to visit me. I will probably not know the staff as well as I do know them here.
I am hoping to return to this hospital to spend part of my recovery. It doesn't feel like an actual hospital. It feels a little like a vacation. It sounds strange, but its true. My breathing is still my anchor to my core, and I am thankful for those in my life who have reminded me to connect to this valuable source of life. I recommend you all to do the same :)
With love
Andouille
Last night and this morning were extremely long and arduous. I was receiving tests every hour to evaluate my condition. The concern was the internal bleeding and the source of where it was coming from. I received a total of about 1400ml of blood from a transfusion. It is interesting to know you are receiving somebody else's blood, especially close to two wine bottles worth of reduced, concentrated blood. I imagine the person's blood to be a strong, healthy, and intelligent person, so that this new blood will make me stronger and more complete. I then imagine myself having more wisdom as a result of this transfusion :)
My dreams were full of randomness and chaos. Sleep is a relative term when reduced to one position in a hospital and limited pain medication. It reminds me of the time I took a Greyhound bus from Whitefish, MT to New York City (round trip). Each leg takes three days AND three nights. The nights are the hardest parts of a greyhound trip. The hospital isn't quite as intense as the Greyhound bus or anything, but the nights do last a LOT longer than the days. A combination of no visitors and extreme soreness, limited movement, etc.. all add up to a long night.
So the music on my ipod helps soothe the challenges of the long nights. I feel transported when I can immerse in the sound of my favorite tunes.
It is now 9:50pm and I am finishing my blog post. It was an eventful day and the details of flying to Spokane are set. I leave at 8am and will be getting in an ambulance, then flying to Spokane. I guess I am excited about flying privately again. Maybe I can get a picture or two of the flight and can post them here some time while I am in Spokompton. I will be sad to leave this wonderful hospital, it gives new meaning to the word "hospitable" as the staff here are incredibly friendly, professional, and welcoming. I do not know how long I will be in Spokane, although I do know it will only be my family there to visit me. I will probably not know the staff as well as I do know them here.
I am hoping to return to this hospital to spend part of my recovery. It doesn't feel like an actual hospital. It feels a little like a vacation. It sounds strange, but its true. My breathing is still my anchor to my core, and I am thankful for those in my life who have reminded me to connect to this valuable source of life. I recommend you all to do the same :)
With love
Andouille
Sunday, February 13, 2011
THE UPDATE ON ANDINO
Dear friends, family, loved ones.. I would like to first say thank you so much for all of your support. From the stuffed animals, to balloons, books, dvd's, massages, reiki, healing touch, food, companionship, visitations, messages, best wishes, energy, thoughts, prayers, dedications, etc.. I am astounded at the level of contributions by each and every one of you. I want you to know that it means so much for me that you have chosen to reach out to me during this rather difficult time.
If you are still wondering what happened, the full story is below on the previous post. The story I am about to tell is an update on my progress, as many of you have sent me messages inquiring about what happened and how am I doing. There have been so many messages that I am choosing to write full updates via this blog, instead of responding to the dozens of facebook messages, texts, emails, and phone calls that I have been receiving.
So it is just after 10pm on Sunday night. I have been in the ICU (Intensive Care Unit) of North Valley Hospital in Whitefish Montana since Thursday evening. I was supposed to have moved to a regular room, although some recent developments have changed the course of my progress. To begin with, the nights have been extremely tough on me. I sleep for about two-to-three hours at a time, then I wake up with severe stiffness and soreness. I spend a little while focused on gentle movements, such as rolling my ankles around, flexing my quads, opening and closing my heels, and moving my shoulders and arms. There is not much else I can do, aside from raising and lowering my bed. I then go back to sleep, for a few more increments, waking back up to the same routine.
I began with a catheter on Thursday, then on Saturday they removed it much to my excitement. However, as of this morning the catheter is back in. This was actually a good thing, as trying to pee while laying down, or partially sitting up, is both awkward and uncomfortable. I was also off of the oxygen for a while and was able to eat solid food (even though I didn't have much of an appetite). I am now back on the oxygen and I am back on a liquid diet. This morning I awoke with a very low blood count. They were deeply concerned about internal bleeding, turns out I have pools of blood in my lower back, which they think are still coming from the pelvis, but they do not know for sure. I went in for more CAT scans and it basically revealed a more severe fracture to my left side, equaling the severity of the fracture to my right side. This essentially means I will not be able to bear weight on either pelvis, likely for 6 to 8 weeks, which means I'll be rolling in a wheelchair once I am strong enough to exit the bed. Nobody knows how long that will be. The hospital will certainly be my home for some time to come.
Yesterday I actually was able to stand with the help of a walker, although most of my strength came from my upper body. I can still work my way up to sitting at the edge of the bed, although it is a very gentle and smooth process that ensues, needing the help of two nurses, movement of the bed, etc.. They have decided to postpone any physical therapy due to the uncertainty of my health as of now.
Today I felt what its like to be a young baby or an older person who is unable to make bowel movements without assistance. Let me just say this, using a bed pan, while laying down, to pass a bowel movement is not a comfortable situation. Especially with undeniable excruciating back pain. The real bonus, I suppose, is getting your ass wiped by nurses. That is what I have to look forward to for the time being. The other thing I look forward to is the pain medication, which I now have on a tight schedule, until more of my condition is revealed.
My general surgeon is still concerned I may need to have surgery. He was very optimistic at first, hence the great progress with my physical therapy, diet, and movement, but with the latest developments of losing blood (by the way the transfused two bags of blood to me today) he has taken a few steps back. It might be a case of too soon, too fast. So now I am restricted to Diluadid every two hours (a small amount) and Norco every 4 hours, until he is sure the source of the bleeding and pain. I can request more if necessary, yet I am almost always uncomfortable and continuously in pain. I will monitor this situation closely and carefully, as I have friends who are doctors that have offered to increase the meds if I feel like I am getting shorter. My surgeon is known for being reserved regarding med distribution. That said, I am going to give him another day or so to see what my condition is like.
I have these huge sores on my lower back, in part from the accident but also now from the pools of blood coagulating there. I have been icing it every half hour or so to help with swelling and pain. There is a chance I might need to be transported to a bigger hospital tomorrow in Kalispell to be opened up so that they may discover the source of this internal bleeding. Surgery may be in the cards after all.
So here I sit, drinking herbal teas, sipping Pellegrino, and doing my various little exercises. I also spend a fair amount of time breathing deeply and connecting with my body, trying to stay grounded and centered to what is happening. I have not questioned why this happened, I am only focused on where to go from here. I am grateful that I have the opportunity to connect with so many people and a deep emotional level and I would like to say again that I love all of you. My heart is healthy, strong, and vibrant and I will continue to pulse the beats of love, especially with the support and kindness from all of you.
Special thanks to those who have taken time to stop by, write, or touch base. I will continue to update my condition on this blog, so use this as an opportunity to stay in the loop.
In light, love, and hope..
Andy
If you are still wondering what happened, the full story is below on the previous post. The story I am about to tell is an update on my progress, as many of you have sent me messages inquiring about what happened and how am I doing. There have been so many messages that I am choosing to write full updates via this blog, instead of responding to the dozens of facebook messages, texts, emails, and phone calls that I have been receiving.
So it is just after 10pm on Sunday night. I have been in the ICU (Intensive Care Unit) of North Valley Hospital in Whitefish Montana since Thursday evening. I was supposed to have moved to a regular room, although some recent developments have changed the course of my progress. To begin with, the nights have been extremely tough on me. I sleep for about two-to-three hours at a time, then I wake up with severe stiffness and soreness. I spend a little while focused on gentle movements, such as rolling my ankles around, flexing my quads, opening and closing my heels, and moving my shoulders and arms. There is not much else I can do, aside from raising and lowering my bed. I then go back to sleep, for a few more increments, waking back up to the same routine.
I began with a catheter on Thursday, then on Saturday they removed it much to my excitement. However, as of this morning the catheter is back in. This was actually a good thing, as trying to pee while laying down, or partially sitting up, is both awkward and uncomfortable. I was also off of the oxygen for a while and was able to eat solid food (even though I didn't have much of an appetite). I am now back on the oxygen and I am back on a liquid diet. This morning I awoke with a very low blood count. They were deeply concerned about internal bleeding, turns out I have pools of blood in my lower back, which they think are still coming from the pelvis, but they do not know for sure. I went in for more CAT scans and it basically revealed a more severe fracture to my left side, equaling the severity of the fracture to my right side. This essentially means I will not be able to bear weight on either pelvis, likely for 6 to 8 weeks, which means I'll be rolling in a wheelchair once I am strong enough to exit the bed. Nobody knows how long that will be. The hospital will certainly be my home for some time to come.
Yesterday I actually was able to stand with the help of a walker, although most of my strength came from my upper body. I can still work my way up to sitting at the edge of the bed, although it is a very gentle and smooth process that ensues, needing the help of two nurses, movement of the bed, etc.. They have decided to postpone any physical therapy due to the uncertainty of my health as of now.
Today I felt what its like to be a young baby or an older person who is unable to make bowel movements without assistance. Let me just say this, using a bed pan, while laying down, to pass a bowel movement is not a comfortable situation. Especially with undeniable excruciating back pain. The real bonus, I suppose, is getting your ass wiped by nurses. That is what I have to look forward to for the time being. The other thing I look forward to is the pain medication, which I now have on a tight schedule, until more of my condition is revealed.
My general surgeon is still concerned I may need to have surgery. He was very optimistic at first, hence the great progress with my physical therapy, diet, and movement, but with the latest developments of losing blood (by the way the transfused two bags of blood to me today) he has taken a few steps back. It might be a case of too soon, too fast. So now I am restricted to Diluadid every two hours (a small amount) and Norco every 4 hours, until he is sure the source of the bleeding and pain. I can request more if necessary, yet I am almost always uncomfortable and continuously in pain. I will monitor this situation closely and carefully, as I have friends who are doctors that have offered to increase the meds if I feel like I am getting shorter. My surgeon is known for being reserved regarding med distribution. That said, I am going to give him another day or so to see what my condition is like.
I have these huge sores on my lower back, in part from the accident but also now from the pools of blood coagulating there. I have been icing it every half hour or so to help with swelling and pain. There is a chance I might need to be transported to a bigger hospital tomorrow in Kalispell to be opened up so that they may discover the source of this internal bleeding. Surgery may be in the cards after all.
So here I sit, drinking herbal teas, sipping Pellegrino, and doing my various little exercises. I also spend a fair amount of time breathing deeply and connecting with my body, trying to stay grounded and centered to what is happening. I have not questioned why this happened, I am only focused on where to go from here. I am grateful that I have the opportunity to connect with so many people and a deep emotional level and I would like to say again that I love all of you. My heart is healthy, strong, and vibrant and I will continue to pulse the beats of love, especially with the support and kindness from all of you.
Special thanks to those who have taken time to stop by, write, or touch base. I will continue to update my condition on this blog, so use this as an opportunity to stay in the loop.
In light, love, and hope..
Andy
The Story of the Crash
This is basically the story of the crash, as posted on PT earlier (this was written on Friday night):
I was skiing at Whitefish Mountain Resort.. Skiing a very narrow line, underneath a t-bar that no longer runs (except for races), near chair 2, was going about 35-40 miles an hour when I lost control, caught an edge, and smashed into a tree with my back/pelvis area.
Worst crash I've ever experience. I was finally getting a good feel for my new Dynastar Huge Troubles, 186, tele setup, actually skied several sick chutes earlier that day. Basically just shredding a fast and super narrow surface when I must have hit an ice ball or something, immediately lost control, and knew I was in serious trouble. As soon as I crashed my skis were above me, wrapped around tree, my head below and I was unable to move. Had to yell for help before someone could assist. I had them undo my bindings and then I tried desperately to roll over so that my feet would be below my head. Could not move, realized I was in serious pain and should not attempt to move anymore, waited with my face laid sideways, belly down, in snow until ski patrol arrive.
So beginning with everything that happened immediately after the crash, I just laid in the snow in total agony trying not to panic. I just kept telling myself to breathe. I knew something was terribly wrong. Thoughts ran through my head about wondering if I would ever be able to walk again. I tried to stay connected to my breath and think that whatever was happening was exactly what was supposed to be going on. I took comfort in knowing that help was on the way and that the pain would eventually subside.
I was getting rather light headed with my head below my feet, as well it was difficult to breathe in this position, I made every effort to remain conscious. When ski patrol arrived, I was coherent and able to answer all questions. This gave me comfort in knowing I was mentally aware of what was happening. They then began to assess my situation, beginning with asking my name, if I remembered the crash, how old I was, where I worked, lived, etc.. They repeated the questions before moving further. They went straight for the neck to see if there was any pain. Thankfully I had no pain surrounding the neck. Next they had me attempt to wiggle my toes and fingers, both of which I was able to do. They then checked to see if I could feel tapping on my boots, and tapping on my legs. I know most of the people on Patrol as I have been skiing this mountain for 11 years, so it was nice to be in caring hands of friends. As soon as they tried to move me I was absolutely devastated from the pain coming from my lower back. They were able to stabilize me on the back board and then put me into the "body" bag, as we like to refer to it as. This whole process, from the crash, until this point, took about 30 minutes. So they got me down, by skiing, to the Base Lodge where an ambulance was waiting. By the time I made it there my face was covered in snow, I was really cold, still trying not to panic as I was in severe pain.
They loaded me in the ambulance, another intensely painful process, and immediately I was given morphine which helped a little, as did the very warm blankets. Got to the hospital about 30 minutes after that. I knew all of the people working on the ambulance, I can tell you it helped me immensely to know these people cared for me. Got to hospital, still on a back board and was rushed inside to ER. Had to re-tell the story over and over again. Lots of tests were being done, lots of nurses and doctors there, trying to assess the situation. X-rays were first up, taking a little while, the whole time I was asking to be taken off the board because of how painful it was. I still have not felt the excruciating pain that existed while laying on the board. They were giving me morphine as fast as I could receive it without passing out. Mind you they were not allowing me to have any water, which is what I desperately wanted, and of course the only liquid was the IV they had, also I was hooked up to oxygen.
All I wanted in that moment was to get off of the board. There were still more tests to be done before they would allow that to happen. In I went for the CT scans, which lasted at least 30 minutes, still in agonizing pain. The docs wanted to keep the morphine at bay in order to properly read my bodies reaction to the trauma. Then upon exiting the CT scans, I was still forced to lay on the board until the radiologist could survey the situation.
So then after the radiologists opinion, it was now up to the orthopedic surgeon and the trauma surgeon to decide whether or not surgery was necessary. After extensive review, plus me pleading with the nurses to get something in my mouth to moisten the intense cottonmouth I was experiencing, I was left to wait until an assessment was made. Morphine was still the order of the day, no idea how many milligrams I took, but they kept it coming intravenously. Finally the decision was made, I would not need surgery.
My condition was listed as follows: fractured pelvis on both sides, the right side is fractured where the pelvis meets the hip joint, several fractured vertebrae on my lower back, mainly L1 and L2, with a few other small cracks, a large contusion on my left lung, a small hole on my right lung, and a damaged kidney. Finally after about 3 and 1/2 hours of being on that fucking board, I was placed onto a soft comfortable bed where I have remained since 7:00pm MST, Feb 10th. I am unable to move much of my body, its mainly due to the pain in my lower back and pelvis area. I can move my arms, my head, my neck, my ankles, my lower legs and feet, but aside from that I have very limited movement with my upper legs and any part of my back.
I have a continuous IV flowing, oxygen in my nose, a blood pressure pump on my right arm, some things to keep blood moving around my ankles (some type of pump), a few other things to monitor my respiration in the chest area, a catheter that goes up my penis all the way to my bladder, and lastly a button to call a nurse anytime I need anything. Today was the first day they allowed any fluids to be drank, aside from the IV, and I was on a liquid diet. I am pretty fearful of having to pass any bowel movements as the thought of movement for that seems daunting, to say the least. Until I can sit up with any regularity, I am going to pass on solid foods to keep from actually have to make a bowel movement.
As soon as I got to the bed from the board I was onto the dilaudid with intravenous injections. It is an incredibly euphoric sensation, so much so I can literally feel it take effect as it moves through my arm to my head and then all the way back to my feet and back up. The only feeling I can equate this to is being in the mothers womb, as if any of us remember what that feels like. Today they wanted me to try sitting up, seemingly an impossible task, but with the help of the Physical Therapist and the resident Nurse (both good friends of mine), I was able to sit up with the help of some Norcos, 2 doses at 5mg each, in addition to the Diluadid. The way back down, however, getting to my back was more sharp, piercing pain.
I was skiing at Whitefish Mountain Resort.. Skiing a very narrow line, underneath a t-bar that no longer runs (except for races), near chair 2, was going about 35-40 miles an hour when I lost control, caught an edge, and smashed into a tree with my back/pelvis area.
Worst crash I've ever experience. I was finally getting a good feel for my new Dynastar Huge Troubles, 186, tele setup, actually skied several sick chutes earlier that day. Basically just shredding a fast and super narrow surface when I must have hit an ice ball or something, immediately lost control, and knew I was in serious trouble. As soon as I crashed my skis were above me, wrapped around tree, my head below and I was unable to move. Had to yell for help before someone could assist. I had them undo my bindings and then I tried desperately to roll over so that my feet would be below my head. Could not move, realized I was in serious pain and should not attempt to move anymore, waited with my face laid sideways, belly down, in snow until ski patrol arrive.
So beginning with everything that happened immediately after the crash, I just laid in the snow in total agony trying not to panic. I just kept telling myself to breathe. I knew something was terribly wrong. Thoughts ran through my head about wondering if I would ever be able to walk again. I tried to stay connected to my breath and think that whatever was happening was exactly what was supposed to be going on. I took comfort in knowing that help was on the way and that the pain would eventually subside.
I was getting rather light headed with my head below my feet, as well it was difficult to breathe in this position, I made every effort to remain conscious. When ski patrol arrived, I was coherent and able to answer all questions. This gave me comfort in knowing I was mentally aware of what was happening. They then began to assess my situation, beginning with asking my name, if I remembered the crash, how old I was, where I worked, lived, etc.. They repeated the questions before moving further. They went straight for the neck to see if there was any pain. Thankfully I had no pain surrounding the neck. Next they had me attempt to wiggle my toes and fingers, both of which I was able to do. They then checked to see if I could feel tapping on my boots, and tapping on my legs. I know most of the people on Patrol as I have been skiing this mountain for 11 years, so it was nice to be in caring hands of friends. As soon as they tried to move me I was absolutely devastated from the pain coming from my lower back. They were able to stabilize me on the back board and then put me into the "body" bag, as we like to refer to it as. This whole process, from the crash, until this point, took about 30 minutes. So they got me down, by skiing, to the Base Lodge where an ambulance was waiting. By the time I made it there my face was covered in snow, I was really cold, still trying not to panic as I was in severe pain.
They loaded me in the ambulance, another intensely painful process, and immediately I was given morphine which helped a little, as did the very warm blankets. Got to the hospital about 30 minutes after that. I knew all of the people working on the ambulance, I can tell you it helped me immensely to know these people cared for me. Got to hospital, still on a back board and was rushed inside to ER. Had to re-tell the story over and over again. Lots of tests were being done, lots of nurses and doctors there, trying to assess the situation. X-rays were first up, taking a little while, the whole time I was asking to be taken off the board because of how painful it was. I still have not felt the excruciating pain that existed while laying on the board. They were giving me morphine as fast as I could receive it without passing out. Mind you they were not allowing me to have any water, which is what I desperately wanted, and of course the only liquid was the IV they had, also I was hooked up to oxygen.
All I wanted in that moment was to get off of the board. There were still more tests to be done before they would allow that to happen. In I went for the CT scans, which lasted at least 30 minutes, still in agonizing pain. The docs wanted to keep the morphine at bay in order to properly read my bodies reaction to the trauma. Then upon exiting the CT scans, I was still forced to lay on the board until the radiologist could survey the situation.
So then after the radiologists opinion, it was now up to the orthopedic surgeon and the trauma surgeon to decide whether or not surgery was necessary. After extensive review, plus me pleading with the nurses to get something in my mouth to moisten the intense cottonmouth I was experiencing, I was left to wait until an assessment was made. Morphine was still the order of the day, no idea how many milligrams I took, but they kept it coming intravenously. Finally the decision was made, I would not need surgery.
My condition was listed as follows: fractured pelvis on both sides, the right side is fractured where the pelvis meets the hip joint, several fractured vertebrae on my lower back, mainly L1 and L2, with a few other small cracks, a large contusion on my left lung, a small hole on my right lung, and a damaged kidney. Finally after about 3 and 1/2 hours of being on that fucking board, I was placed onto a soft comfortable bed where I have remained since 7:00pm MST, Feb 10th. I am unable to move much of my body, its mainly due to the pain in my lower back and pelvis area. I can move my arms, my head, my neck, my ankles, my lower legs and feet, but aside from that I have very limited movement with my upper legs and any part of my back.
I have a continuous IV flowing, oxygen in my nose, a blood pressure pump on my right arm, some things to keep blood moving around my ankles (some type of pump), a few other things to monitor my respiration in the chest area, a catheter that goes up my penis all the way to my bladder, and lastly a button to call a nurse anytime I need anything. Today was the first day they allowed any fluids to be drank, aside from the IV, and I was on a liquid diet. I am pretty fearful of having to pass any bowel movements as the thought of movement for that seems daunting, to say the least. Until I can sit up with any regularity, I am going to pass on solid foods to keep from actually have to make a bowel movement.
As soon as I got to the bed from the board I was onto the dilaudid with intravenous injections. It is an incredibly euphoric sensation, so much so I can literally feel it take effect as it moves through my arm to my head and then all the way back to my feet and back up. The only feeling I can equate this to is being in the mothers womb, as if any of us remember what that feels like. Today they wanted me to try sitting up, seemingly an impossible task, but with the help of the Physical Therapist and the resident Nurse (both good friends of mine), I was able to sit up with the help of some Norcos, 2 doses at 5mg each, in addition to the Diluadid. The way back down, however, getting to my back was more sharp, piercing pain.
Such a long, long time to be gone, and a short time to be there
Blog much?
I find it incredible that so much time has passed since the last post. There is so much to tell. With that in mind I will attempt to categorize my stories in terms of sections, much like I did with the Napa trip, in order to consolidate a very long post into manageable chapters, so to speak. So this elongated essay will include San Francisco, Yoga & Meditation, Phish, New York City & Boston, and finally Madison River, Montana. It is safe to say I have traveled an extensive amount over the last few months.
To put it simply, October might have been perhaps the best month of my life. November has been incredible also, although not quite on the grand scale of October. But then again, how often does one get to travel the country indulging in the passions they create enjoying each and every moment with wonder and amazement? I find it necessary to share many of these extraordinary experiences with the following stories. I do hope you enjoy reading.
San Francisco
Ahh, yes, San Fran, a place I once lived in my younger years. At the time I was only in the 3rd and 4th grade, yet fond memories encompass my thoughts surrounding this beautiful city. I had returned to visit twice since the time I actually lived there: My first visit was in August 1995. This visit included a very fateful day. I woke up early in the morning and started the trek from the hotel I was staying at downtown to make my way towards Haight-Ashbury. It was a Wednesday morning, August 9th, the day Jerry Garcia died. Still one of the most mind blowing stories in my collection of tales, this day I will remember for the rest of my life. Here I was going to see the place where the Grateful Dead practically began, and it was not until I arrived on that famous corner that I learned the news of Garcia's passing. It was fairly early in the morning, around 9am, when I arrived at the corner of Haight and Ashbury. There were about 5 people on the corner at that time. When I left later that afternoon, after mourning for several hours, there were over a thousand people, dozens of news cameras and crews, and police officers directing traffic.
The second trip to San Francisco was just a very brief visit, literally a few hours, traveling to see Phish play Shoreline Amphitheater in July of 1998. I drove to a place I lived as a child, Yerba Buena Island. If any of you are familiar with Yerba Buena Island, it is undoubtedly gorgeous with its stunning views of the Bay Area. Going back to this unbelievable place in 1998 brought back such vivid memories of a colorful time in my life, full of innocent exploration and mischievous discoveries of what it means to be alive. All of this happening at a very young age, including a influential development that inevitably carried over to my rather eventful adolescent years.
At any rate the Bay Area holds a special place in my heart. Returning to this area once again helped bring things full circle. We stayed in Marin County in a town named Ross, a beautiful setting with some friends of ours from the Restaurant, Shep and Liz Heery. Andy Kriss and I were still on our Napa excursion, so the two days we chose to spend in San Fran were an added bonus to a great trip. We continued in true fashion by dining and enjoying all that we could in the short time we were there.
We met Shep at his office in downtown San Fran located directly across the street from the Ferry Building. The view from his office window was absolutely spectacular. Yerba Buena Island and the San Francisco Bay were in full view, along with an incredible panorama of the city, and the rest of the Bay area. It was a wonderful introduction to the magnificent Bay Area.
We then walked around the city for a short while, surveying the sights, before meeting for dinner at Tyler Florence's new Restaurant, Wayfare Tavern. There were six of us, including Liz and Shep Heery, Robyn and Bill Watson, myself and Andy Kriss. Tyler Florence was actually there that evening; in fact his family was seated in the booth next to us. We enjoyed ourselves immensely that evening, although the dining was not the highlight of our experience. The company made up for the lack of service and food quality. It wasn't all bad, necessarily, considering they were unveiling a new menu that night. The staff seemed disoriented and confused, so as a result our experience was tainted by the inconsistencies that were present. Tyler did come over and say hi, which was both comforting and flattering. We had a Yellowfin Tuna Crudo, Bone Marrow, Foie Gras, Pork Belly, Oysters, and Bacon wrapped Dates just to name a few. The menu was quite creative and reasonably priced. Yet the end result seemed to lack the flair that the menu suggested. As well, the atmosphere was undoubtedly loud and keeping a conversation with anyone not seated next to you, in a crowded booth, was a challenge.
The next day we toured into the city via the Ferry from Marin County. Our day started with visiting a couple Farmers Markets and tasting the most unbelievably flavored grapes, tomatoes, white peaches, etc.. As a chef it was a tremendous experience to view such divine products. At the same time I was slightly discouraged, having the knowledge of what is available, since living in Montana limits the opportunity to work with such amazing foods. We met a friend of mine, named Alex, for lunch at Chez Papa Resto. This actually was a recommendation from one of the Maitre D's at Wayfare Tavern. It was Alex's birthday and we were treated to a delightful lunch. The menu went something like this:
*Seared Ahi Tuna Nicoise, Roasted Peppers, Haricots Verts, Artichokes, Quail Eggs
*Roasted Eggplant and Mozzarealla Tartine, Roasted Peppers, Pistou, Tapenade, Mixed Greens
*Snake River Kobe Beef Tartare, Dijon Mustard, Capers, Shallots, Garlic, Toast Points
*Ratatouille
*Liberty Farms Duck Confit, Lentils, Cippolinis, Parsnips, Sherry Apple Sauce
*Grilled Coho Salmon Meuniere, Spinach, Fingerling Potatoes
We shared all of the above and enjoyed a wonderful lunch. We later decided to take a walk around Union Square to take in some various sights, including viewing some expensive designer stores, taking cheesy photos, and just being tourists. We followed this with a few raw oysters and some delicious wine while overlooking the bay. We had dinner reservations at Acquerello around 8:30pm with Gregg and Mary Swietek, so we were mainly killing time before then.
Gregg and Mary Swietek are long time aficionados of Cafe Kandahar, so it was only natural we would get in touch with them prior to visiting their neck of the woods. Acquerello was a trip to another place and time as it resides in an old chapel. Complete with musty odors and a visually appealing historic setting, it felt as if we went back in time to rediscover the marvels of timeless architecture. The dining room was gorgeous. Just walking across the glorious room surely made us look even better than we already did; and, if nothing else, we felt as if we became gorgeous too. The highlight of the evening was most certainly the White Alba Truffles from Piedmonte, Italy. Simply put Alba truffles are the worlds best and most expensive culinary ingredient. Here is a quick glance at some of the menu items we enjoyed:
*Grilled Lamb's Tongue, Celery, Salsa Verde, Gaeta Olive Oil
*Beef Tartare, Parmesan Cream, Quail Egg, Truffle Drizzle
*Ridged Pasta, Foie Gras, Black Truffles, Marsala
*Carnaroli Risotto, Walnuts, Poached Pears, Radicchio, Gorgonzola
The rest of the dinner was superb, we all ordered multiple courses and shared each dish. The flavors were delightful and the whole experience was unforgettable. The white truffles are so intoxicating that they permeate the senses in such a way that reminds the entire body that one is alive and well. It is like god tasting itself through your own palate, if that makes any sense.
Yoga and Meditation:
The experience of these two choices are as fulfilling as breath to the lungs, they give life to an organ that is already alive. In other words, they remind that which is alive that it is fully alive, as if to awaken from a dream only to remember that the body is still alive in the dream, yet fully aware in the waking state. I am so thankful for the opportunities that exist regarding the yogic realm, mainly the teachers available to me locally, both Jodi Petlin and Debra Sykes. Jodi teaches locally here in Whitefish, several days a week, a brilliant yogini with years of experience. She is incredibly fiery and feisty, a combination that yields both authority and inspiration, while incorporating humor with delight into her teachings. She is most certainly a blessing to this wonderful community. Her studio, aptly named Shanti, is a jewel amongst the charming downtown setting.
Debra Sykes is a certified Anusara instructor who lives in Polson, Montana. Every other week, or so, she has a three hour practice at her studio yogaheart. Debra's practice is like coming home, welcoming one back to the source, reminding us to dwell in the heart and soul of one's being. She has a radiant glow that extends through the light of her being. Her practice is playful, challenging, and inspiring. There are very few words to describe the feeling of being present in her studio with such a wonderful kula. All I can say is that inside the purple walls I feel nurtured, complete, and full of life. The co-owner of the studio, Bonnie Kiser, is also a prominent yogini who exudes brilliance, balance, and integration. Below is a picture of me and Bonnie:
The highlights of my fall yoga action included taking two classes from Jeanie Manchester, who is my favorite Anusara teacher, in Boulder. She has a way of combining the tantric texts with a mindful and invigorating practice. I hope to continue to study with such an amazing teacher! Another highlight was attending a meditation workshop with Paul Muller-Ortega, a weekend that most certainly adjusted the course of my life. The most profound being I have ever had the pleasure to witness or be around, Paul had a way of defining the meaning of life with a direct and utterly fascinating explanation of what our purpose is and how we choose to embrace it. His demeanor and tone were as graceful as the wind, you could feel it was there but you could not see it enough to study it. It is something you are aware of its existence, yet you do not know the source of. Such is the breath of life.
Yet another highlight is the three day workshop with Desiree Rumbaugh in Bozeman. This was a really incredible weekend. Desiree is famous in the yoga world, her capacity to see everyone in the room was almost superhero like. She is a beam of light that radiates a strong, consistent understanding of the core principles of alignment and the methods used to embrace truth and peace simultaneously. All through her yoga practice. Her life is a testament of overcoming adversity and staying true to the cause of rediscovering one's full potential. Part of what made the weekend so special was the 6 hour trek to Bozeman with Jodi Petlin and Elaine Johnson (both of whom are yoga teachers), as well as Beth Morgensten. Elaine and I actually drive to Polson (about a 1 and 1/2 hour drive), so we are very close and know a copious amount about each others lives. We all stayed at the Lucky Dog Ranch that housed about 20 of us, we actually did a dinner one night where we all participated in making a feast with Desiree joining us! It was a memorable occasion, to say the least.
Also to note was the opportunity to cook for the folks who make up Shantala, Benjy and Heather Wertheimer. They were playing a concert in Polson, mid-November, and I was able to cook dinner for them prior to their concert. So I had dinner with both of them, along with Debra Sykes and her partner Jim, it was both an honor and a treat to enjoy their company and get to know them.
Phish:
Traveling to the east coast to see my favorite band play a run of shows in several venues they had not played since 1994 or 1995 was like an invitation to go back in time and experience something I had always wanted to do. Which was to see Phish in their stomping grounds, mainly Amherst and Manchester. Something about seeing Phish on the east coast in the fall, especially in smaller venues, with the autumn foliage in full effect reminded me of why I love to travel and see music.
So there were 10 shows I would see from October 10th through October 31st, the first three shows were actually seen in Broomfield, Colorado (just outside of Boulder) in a 6500 seat venue. Starting the wave during the third night of Broomfield was easily my greatest accomplishment at a Phish show.
Some of the greatest shows I've ever seen Phish play occured on this 10 show trek, mainly Manchester and the second night of Atlantic City. So I saw three shows in Broomfield, CO, then one in Providence, two in Amherst, MA, one in Manchester, NH, and three shows in Atlantic City, NJ. Traveling on a red bus throughout the northeast was undoubtedly a unique experience. There is something unusual about a red short bus, full of stickers, riding down the highway, that makes people want to honk and wave constantly. The trip was full of meeting lots of new friends, enjoying good times, and dancing to some great music. The highlight was Halloween weekend in Atlantic City and a large suite at the Tropicana with some of my closest friends.
New York City & Boston:
Is there another city in the U.S. that even comes close to the wonder that is NYC? Um, well, I think not. NYC is in front by a long shot, and is by far my favorite city in the United States. If you have ever spent any amount of time there, then surely you are aware of what I speak of. If you have not, well then, what are you waiting for?
The dining and culture is unsurpassed, the city is full of possibility and ambition, and the people are as diverse as the globe itself. I stayed in Brooklyn for a few days. Immediately upon my arrival in Brooklyn I was greeted with a spectacular double rainbow that arched over Prospect Street. It was magical!
Seated meditation on Brooklyn rooftops are such a tranquil and serene setting. It is an accessible sanctuary amongst the hustle and bustle of the city.
I enjoyed dinner at a wonderful little place in Brooklyn called with my good friend Mark who I was also staying with. I took a yoga class with my friend Liz at Elena Brower's studio and then we had lunch at Balthazaar. A classic french bistro that was busy and bustling, what a treat to enjoy duck liver terrine for lunch! Dinner that night was at Blue Ribbon in Manhattan, with my old sous chef Will Rogan and his significant other Karin, which turned out to be the best sushi I have ever eaten. Toro, Uni four different ways, Bone Marrow, etc.. were all divine installments in a thoroughly enjoyable evening. And this was all before going to see Micheal Franti and Spearhead. All in all just a couple of days in NYC.
Madison River, Montana:
I will update this more soon, for now, enjoy a few photos:
I find it incredible that so much time has passed since the last post. There is so much to tell. With that in mind I will attempt to categorize my stories in terms of sections, much like I did with the Napa trip, in order to consolidate a very long post into manageable chapters, so to speak. So this elongated essay will include San Francisco, Yoga & Meditation, Phish, New York City & Boston, and finally Madison River, Montana. It is safe to say I have traveled an extensive amount over the last few months.
To put it simply, October might have been perhaps the best month of my life. November has been incredible also, although not quite on the grand scale of October. But then again, how often does one get to travel the country indulging in the passions they create enjoying each and every moment with wonder and amazement? I find it necessary to share many of these extraordinary experiences with the following stories. I do hope you enjoy reading.
San Francisco
Ahh, yes, San Fran, a place I once lived in my younger years. At the time I was only in the 3rd and 4th grade, yet fond memories encompass my thoughts surrounding this beautiful city. I had returned to visit twice since the time I actually lived there: My first visit was in August 1995. This visit included a very fateful day. I woke up early in the morning and started the trek from the hotel I was staying at downtown to make my way towards Haight-Ashbury. It was a Wednesday morning, August 9th, the day Jerry Garcia died. Still one of the most mind blowing stories in my collection of tales, this day I will remember for the rest of my life. Here I was going to see the place where the Grateful Dead practically began, and it was not until I arrived on that famous corner that I learned the news of Garcia's passing. It was fairly early in the morning, around 9am, when I arrived at the corner of Haight and Ashbury. There were about 5 people on the corner at that time. When I left later that afternoon, after mourning for several hours, there were over a thousand people, dozens of news cameras and crews, and police officers directing traffic.
The second trip to San Francisco was just a very brief visit, literally a few hours, traveling to see Phish play Shoreline Amphitheater in July of 1998. I drove to a place I lived as a child, Yerba Buena Island. If any of you are familiar with Yerba Buena Island, it is undoubtedly gorgeous with its stunning views of the Bay Area. Going back to this unbelievable place in 1998 brought back such vivid memories of a colorful time in my life, full of innocent exploration and mischievous discoveries of what it means to be alive. All of this happening at a very young age, including a influential development that inevitably carried over to my rather eventful adolescent years.
At any rate the Bay Area holds a special place in my heart. Returning to this area once again helped bring things full circle. We stayed in Marin County in a town named Ross, a beautiful setting with some friends of ours from the Restaurant, Shep and Liz Heery. Andy Kriss and I were still on our Napa excursion, so the two days we chose to spend in San Fran were an added bonus to a great trip. We continued in true fashion by dining and enjoying all that we could in the short time we were there.
We met Shep at his office in downtown San Fran located directly across the street from the Ferry Building. The view from his office window was absolutely spectacular. Yerba Buena Island and the San Francisco Bay were in full view, along with an incredible panorama of the city, and the rest of the Bay area. It was a wonderful introduction to the magnificent Bay Area.
We then walked around the city for a short while, surveying the sights, before meeting for dinner at Tyler Florence's new Restaurant, Wayfare Tavern. There were six of us, including Liz and Shep Heery, Robyn and Bill Watson, myself and Andy Kriss. Tyler Florence was actually there that evening; in fact his family was seated in the booth next to us. We enjoyed ourselves immensely that evening, although the dining was not the highlight of our experience. The company made up for the lack of service and food quality. It wasn't all bad, necessarily, considering they were unveiling a new menu that night. The staff seemed disoriented and confused, so as a result our experience was tainted by the inconsistencies that were present. Tyler did come over and say hi, which was both comforting and flattering. We had a Yellowfin Tuna Crudo, Bone Marrow, Foie Gras, Pork Belly, Oysters, and Bacon wrapped Dates just to name a few. The menu was quite creative and reasonably priced. Yet the end result seemed to lack the flair that the menu suggested. As well, the atmosphere was undoubtedly loud and keeping a conversation with anyone not seated next to you, in a crowded booth, was a challenge.
The next day we toured into the city via the Ferry from Marin County. Our day started with visiting a couple Farmers Markets and tasting the most unbelievably flavored grapes, tomatoes, white peaches, etc.. As a chef it was a tremendous experience to view such divine products. At the same time I was slightly discouraged, having the knowledge of what is available, since living in Montana limits the opportunity to work with such amazing foods. We met a friend of mine, named Alex, for lunch at Chez Papa Resto. This actually was a recommendation from one of the Maitre D's at Wayfare Tavern. It was Alex's birthday and we were treated to a delightful lunch. The menu went something like this:
*Seared Ahi Tuna Nicoise, Roasted Peppers, Haricots Verts, Artichokes, Quail Eggs
*Roasted Eggplant and Mozzarealla Tartine, Roasted Peppers, Pistou, Tapenade, Mixed Greens
*Snake River Kobe Beef Tartare, Dijon Mustard, Capers, Shallots, Garlic, Toast Points
*Ratatouille
*Liberty Farms Duck Confit, Lentils, Cippolinis, Parsnips, Sherry Apple Sauce
*Grilled Coho Salmon Meuniere, Spinach, Fingerling Potatoes
We shared all of the above and enjoyed a wonderful lunch. We later decided to take a walk around Union Square to take in some various sights, including viewing some expensive designer stores, taking cheesy photos, and just being tourists. We followed this with a few raw oysters and some delicious wine while overlooking the bay. We had dinner reservations at Acquerello around 8:30pm with Gregg and Mary Swietek, so we were mainly killing time before then.
Gregg and Mary Swietek are long time aficionados of Cafe Kandahar, so it was only natural we would get in touch with them prior to visiting their neck of the woods. Acquerello was a trip to another place and time as it resides in an old chapel. Complete with musty odors and a visually appealing historic setting, it felt as if we went back in time to rediscover the marvels of timeless architecture. The dining room was gorgeous. Just walking across the glorious room surely made us look even better than we already did; and, if nothing else, we felt as if we became gorgeous too. The highlight of the evening was most certainly the White Alba Truffles from Piedmonte, Italy. Simply put Alba truffles are the worlds best and most expensive culinary ingredient. Here is a quick glance at some of the menu items we enjoyed:
*Grilled Lamb's Tongue, Celery, Salsa Verde, Gaeta Olive Oil
*Beef Tartare, Parmesan Cream, Quail Egg, Truffle Drizzle
*Ridged Pasta, Foie Gras, Black Truffles, Marsala
*Carnaroli Risotto, Walnuts, Poached Pears, Radicchio, Gorgonzola
The rest of the dinner was superb, we all ordered multiple courses and shared each dish. The flavors were delightful and the whole experience was unforgettable. The white truffles are so intoxicating that they permeate the senses in such a way that reminds the entire body that one is alive and well. It is like god tasting itself through your own palate, if that makes any sense.
Yoga and Meditation:
The experience of these two choices are as fulfilling as breath to the lungs, they give life to an organ that is already alive. In other words, they remind that which is alive that it is fully alive, as if to awaken from a dream only to remember that the body is still alive in the dream, yet fully aware in the waking state. I am so thankful for the opportunities that exist regarding the yogic realm, mainly the teachers available to me locally, both Jodi Petlin and Debra Sykes. Jodi teaches locally here in Whitefish, several days a week, a brilliant yogini with years of experience. She is incredibly fiery and feisty, a combination that yields both authority and inspiration, while incorporating humor with delight into her teachings. She is most certainly a blessing to this wonderful community. Her studio, aptly named Shanti, is a jewel amongst the charming downtown setting.
Debra Sykes is a certified Anusara instructor who lives in Polson, Montana. Every other week, or so, she has a three hour practice at her studio yogaheart. Debra's practice is like coming home, welcoming one back to the source, reminding us to dwell in the heart and soul of one's being. She has a radiant glow that extends through the light of her being. Her practice is playful, challenging, and inspiring. There are very few words to describe the feeling of being present in her studio with such a wonderful kula. All I can say is that inside the purple walls I feel nurtured, complete, and full of life. The co-owner of the studio, Bonnie Kiser, is also a prominent yogini who exudes brilliance, balance, and integration. Below is a picture of me and Bonnie:
The highlights of my fall yoga action included taking two classes from Jeanie Manchester, who is my favorite Anusara teacher, in Boulder. She has a way of combining the tantric texts with a mindful and invigorating practice. I hope to continue to study with such an amazing teacher! Another highlight was attending a meditation workshop with Paul Muller-Ortega, a weekend that most certainly adjusted the course of my life. The most profound being I have ever had the pleasure to witness or be around, Paul had a way of defining the meaning of life with a direct and utterly fascinating explanation of what our purpose is and how we choose to embrace it. His demeanor and tone were as graceful as the wind, you could feel it was there but you could not see it enough to study it. It is something you are aware of its existence, yet you do not know the source of. Such is the breath of life.
Yet another highlight is the three day workshop with Desiree Rumbaugh in Bozeman. This was a really incredible weekend. Desiree is famous in the yoga world, her capacity to see everyone in the room was almost superhero like. She is a beam of light that radiates a strong, consistent understanding of the core principles of alignment and the methods used to embrace truth and peace simultaneously. All through her yoga practice. Her life is a testament of overcoming adversity and staying true to the cause of rediscovering one's full potential. Part of what made the weekend so special was the 6 hour trek to Bozeman with Jodi Petlin and Elaine Johnson (both of whom are yoga teachers), as well as Beth Morgensten. Elaine and I actually drive to Polson (about a 1 and 1/2 hour drive), so we are very close and know a copious amount about each others lives. We all stayed at the Lucky Dog Ranch that housed about 20 of us, we actually did a dinner one night where we all participated in making a feast with Desiree joining us! It was a memorable occasion, to say the least.
Also to note was the opportunity to cook for the folks who make up Shantala, Benjy and Heather Wertheimer. They were playing a concert in Polson, mid-November, and I was able to cook dinner for them prior to their concert. So I had dinner with both of them, along with Debra Sykes and her partner Jim, it was both an honor and a treat to enjoy their company and get to know them.
Phish:
Traveling to the east coast to see my favorite band play a run of shows in several venues they had not played since 1994 or 1995 was like an invitation to go back in time and experience something I had always wanted to do. Which was to see Phish in their stomping grounds, mainly Amherst and Manchester. Something about seeing Phish on the east coast in the fall, especially in smaller venues, with the autumn foliage in full effect reminded me of why I love to travel and see music.
So there were 10 shows I would see from October 10th through October 31st, the first three shows were actually seen in Broomfield, Colorado (just outside of Boulder) in a 6500 seat venue. Starting the wave during the third night of Broomfield was easily my greatest accomplishment at a Phish show.
Some of the greatest shows I've ever seen Phish play occured on this 10 show trek, mainly Manchester and the second night of Atlantic City. So I saw three shows in Broomfield, CO, then one in Providence, two in Amherst, MA, one in Manchester, NH, and three shows in Atlantic City, NJ. Traveling on a red bus throughout the northeast was undoubtedly a unique experience. There is something unusual about a red short bus, full of stickers, riding down the highway, that makes people want to honk and wave constantly. The trip was full of meeting lots of new friends, enjoying good times, and dancing to some great music. The highlight was Halloween weekend in Atlantic City and a large suite at the Tropicana with some of my closest friends.
New York City & Boston:
Is there another city in the U.S. that even comes close to the wonder that is NYC? Um, well, I think not. NYC is in front by a long shot, and is by far my favorite city in the United States. If you have ever spent any amount of time there, then surely you are aware of what I speak of. If you have not, well then, what are you waiting for?
The dining and culture is unsurpassed, the city is full of possibility and ambition, and the people are as diverse as the globe itself. I stayed in Brooklyn for a few days. Immediately upon my arrival in Brooklyn I was greeted with a spectacular double rainbow that arched over Prospect Street. It was magical!
Seated meditation on Brooklyn rooftops are such a tranquil and serene setting. It is an accessible sanctuary amongst the hustle and bustle of the city.
I enjoyed dinner at a wonderful little place in Brooklyn called with my good friend Mark who I was also staying with. I took a yoga class with my friend Liz at Elena Brower's studio and then we had lunch at Balthazaar. A classic french bistro that was busy and bustling, what a treat to enjoy duck liver terrine for lunch! Dinner that night was at Blue Ribbon in Manhattan, with my old sous chef Will Rogan and his significant other Karin, which turned out to be the best sushi I have ever eaten. Toro, Uni four different ways, Bone Marrow, etc.. were all divine installments in a thoroughly enjoyable evening. And this was all before going to see Micheal Franti and Spearhead. All in all just a couple of days in NYC.
Madison River, Montana:
I will update this more soon, for now, enjoy a few photos:
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